This Parking Meter Really Expired

The tip came from reader Shirley Serna. I didn’t ask her if she had contacted anyone else, because I wanted this scoop for myself. I rushed over to Angels Flight, rode it to the end of the line, then hustled south on Olive toward 4th Street. There it was on the corner: a flashing message that said DEAD (see photo). A digital read-out on the now-inoperable parking meter. Another of the city’s new machines had failed to hack it in the big city. I left before the maintenance crew--and the gawkers--arrived. A sad way to start the week.

IN OTHER SORDID NEWS: Ron Keyson found evidence that some apparent rustlers were so bold that they advertised their loot (see accompanying).

I WON’T DRINK TO THAT: “For healthier cocktails, this is the place,” quipped John Laubacher of one eatery that bragged its cocktails were free of a certain additive (see accompanying). Make mine a beer, barkeep.

NOT MY CUP OF COFFEE, EITHER: Pat Ryan noticed an ad for a type of bean I had never heard of (see accompanying).

YOU THINK ROOM SERVICE IS SLOW HERE. . . . Hilton Hotels Inc. is hosting a meeting of NASA scientists, other space experts and engineers in Beverly Hills to discuss the possibility of putting a hotel on the moon, the L.A. Business Journal reports.

Wonder if they’ll build near astronaut Alan Shepard’s old golf course?

OSCAR VS. FELIX, PART II: Like other astute boxing analysts, I believe that Oscar De La Hoya of East L.A. wouldn’t have lost his welterweight title fight against Felix Trinidad if he had been more aggressive. (No, I didn’t see the fight, but a true analyst doesn’t need to.)

If only De La Hoya had some of the fire, some of the explosiveness, that an earlier Oscar demonstrated against another Felix.

Maybe you remember the scene in “The Odd Couple” in which the slovenly Oscar Madison growls at roommate/gourmet chef Felix Unger that he doesn’t want Unger’s spaghetti.

Felix laughs uproariously. Madison asks him why he’s laughing. Felix answers, “It’s not spaghetti; it’s linguine.”

Whereupon Madison throws it against the wall and says, “Now it’s garbage.”

I was on my feet, applauding that Oscar.

NOT TONIGHT: Louise Hammond of Santa Maria sent me a clipping from a local newspaper that inadvertently listed church services under the “obituaries” section. It reminded her of the old “Is God dead?” debate.

She added: “If you can’t use it in your column, pass it on to Jay Leno.”

Sorry, Jay. Slow news day.

miscelLAny:

Patty Paul spotted this bumper sticker in Hollywood: “Warning: Driver is Legally Blonde.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 23-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@times.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.