LAUGH LINES

Pigging Out: “Supermodel Kate Moss was seen partying with friends. They say she went on an eating binge. She consumed two olives, a saltine and 4 1/2 sesame seeds.” (Jerry Perisho)

Running on Empty: “They caught a guy running across the White House lawn. Luckily, authorities said he never had a real chance of making it to the White House. And they described him as Alan Keyes.” (Bill Maher)

Not Again: “Political pundits are saying that if Hillary Clinton is elected as senator, she will then run for president. . . . That’s all we need. Bill Clinton back in the White House with even more free time.” (David Letterman)

A Dope Bust: “Dan Quayle is getting his own bust at . . . the Hall of Vice Presidents. Not the brightest guy. He went to Victoria’s Secret to get a bra for his bust.” (Andrew Wisot)

Snooze Alarm: “According to the National Sleep Foundation, 58% have experienced insomnia. The only known cure? Al Gore.” (Daily Scoop)

Tube Time: “China announced plans to make cable TV available to 800 million viewers. But they don’t have the Spice channel. They have the MSG channel.” (Jay Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.