LAUGH LINES

Nut ‘n’ Honey: “Scientists say the craving for salt is as strong in men as the craving for sex. See that, women? All this time you thought guys were going to bars to pick up women. They’re really going for the peanuts.” (Jay Leno)

Sweet and Simple: “Laura Bush [George W. Bush’s wife] revealed herself in an interview with Ladies Home Journal . . . to be a strong-minded woman and an independent thinker. She also said that she likes the simple things in life. She even married one of them.” (Argus Hamilton)

Tough Luck: “Vermont has become the first state in the union to give legal rights to same-sex couples. It gives them all the benefits of a legally married couple without actually having to get married. . . . Know how women are always saying the good ones are either married or gay? Now they’re married and gay.” (Leno)

The Fame Game: “A boy recently asked Hillary Clinton if she is more famous than Leonardo DiCaprio. They’re both pretty famous--one for hitting an iceberg, the other for being one.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

A Man’s World: “According to a new study, the average man thinks about sex 206 times a day. In the same study, it said the average man lies about how often he gets sex 195 times a day.” (Andrew Wisot)

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