LAUGH LINES

Taking Chances: George W. Bush “said the past eight years under Clinton have been missed opportunities. . . . Clinton shot back and said: ‘Missed opportunities? Hey, pal, there were interns you don’t even know about.’ ” (Jay Leno)

Fatten Up: “According to a just-released study, obesity in Los Angeles is rising at a faster rate than any other city in the U.S. In fact, to give you an idea of how bad it’s getting, the average supermodel in L.A. now weighs 62 pounds.” (Andrew Wisot)

Sounds Annoying: “Did you ever notice how loud movie trailers seem to be lately? Engineers at Dolby have discovered that moviegoers have become very irritated by the noise. So [they] . . . developed an annoyance meter, which measures the average sound levels of a movie preview. An annoyance meter? That thing must go through the roof on Kevin Costner movies.” (Mark Wheeler)

Food for Thought: “The Hollywood actors’ strike is still going on. . . . Actors went on a hunger strike. I don’t know if that’s effective. You know what’s a better idea? Don’t stop eating food, stop serving food. If every actor who worked as a waiter stopped serving food in this town, this place would shut up like a clam.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.