In Praise of Parents

Ho Van Nguyen knelt Sunday in the Buddhist temple and gave a silver tray stacked with figurines and cookies to her 82-year-old grandfather.

His stern face broke into a smile. Then tears streamed down his face.

“I’m honoring my grandparents because they raised my parents,” said 20-year-old Nguyen, of Westminster. Her parents were working Sunday and unable to attend the packed services at Duoc Su Temple in Garden Grove.

Nguyen was among thousands of Vietnamese Americans who gathered at temples across Southern California on Sunday to commemorate Vu Lan, a traditional holiday that pays tribute to parents, especially mothers.

During the celebration, roses are pinned to shirts. Those whose mothers are alive wear red roses to signify the blood that ties together the generations. Those who have lost their mothers wear white roses to signify pure memories of their mothers.

Vu Lan is observed all month, but Sunday marked the official holiday.

Buddhist monks led the procession into the crowded Garden Grove temple Sunday, followed by drummers and dragon dancers. Colorful altars were piled with gladioli and chrysanthemums and plates of oranges, mangoes and pineapples. The smell of incense wafted to the streets. Followers stood with their hands clasped, praying in silence.

Religious leaders from around the state preached respect and honor.

“You have to honor your parents like you honor Buddha,” said the Venerable Thich Thien Vien, who visited from Huong Thich Temple in Los Angeles. “Because if we don’t have parents, we would not be here.”

Kevin Nguyen, 10, said that he pays respect by vacuuming, wiping the kitchen table and cleaning his room.

“My mom has provided us with shelter, an education and food on the table,” he said. “I don’t make any money so I respect her by taking care of my little brother so she can rest for 10 minutes.”

Tiffany Huynh, 23, of Anaheim said she honors her mother, Tu Tran, by treating her with good manners.

“She’s worked hard to dress us and teach us,” Huynh said.

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Vu Lan is rooted in a legend about a Buddhist nun who brought small offerings to the temple, said Nhu Thong, a nun at Duoc Su Temple.

Other nuns teased her about the tiny portions, so she became angry and one day stuffed the pastries with meat, knowing that everyone was vegetarian. When she died, she went to hell for her transgression. Her son went to hell to seek forgiveness for his mother from ghosts and demons, who eventually allowed her to go to heaven, Thong said.

Less than a mile down Magnolia Avenue from Duoc Su Temple, about 300 people gathered at the Vietnam Temple, where there were more ceremonies.

Duc Buu, 65, lit incense and prayed for his parents. They both died in Vietnam in 1984 at age 82.

“I pray and give them offerings every day at dinner time too,” said Buu, of Garden Grove.

“They are my parents. They are cherished and honored every day.”