Teachers Learn the Signs of Abusive Homes

When couples who’d once vowed to love and honor turn to screaming and hitting, who do you think calls the cops at 911? The neighbors? The spouse taking the worst of it?

Sometimes. But Superior Court Judge Pamela Iles, who has specialized in domestic violence cases as far back as her days as a prosecutor, has been keeping her own such statistics. And here’s a sad one:

About 30% of these 911 calls come from children.

Children are the real victims of parents’ violent behavior. And Iles is among those determined to make these parents wake up to that.

One way is the team approach for court cases she put together last year. Those charged with domestic violence have to face a battery of county experts who hammer home the damage they’re doing.

But here’s another way: Get to the problem through our schoolteachers.

“Teachers are the gateway to safety for many of these youngsters,” Iles said.

So Wednesday, local law enforcement agencies--led by Iles--will put on their second annual domestic violence conference for teachers and other educators.

Last year Iles had room for 350 teachers but wound up breaking the fire code by squeezing in more. This year, she and other organizers got a bigger room, at the Irvine Marriott. More than 600 teachers, from elementary, junior high, and high school levels have made reservations.

I’d say that’s pretty good, considering they don’t even get a day off from classes for it.

Teachers already know they are mandated to report child abuse, the same as doctors and school nurses. What law enforcement types like Iles want to do is make them more aware of the danger signs that a child’s school troubles may be related to domestic violence in the home.

“These children don’t want out of those homes,” Iles said. “They just want their parents to stop beating the crap out of each other.”

Iles shakes her head at how difficult it is to get a jury in domestic violence cases. About 60% of the prospective jurors aren’t accepted, she said, because they’ve either suffered from domestic violence or know someone who has.

Shove Is Warning Sign

Here’s another statistic generally agreed on by all law enforcement: In 60% of the homes where a spouse or adult partner suffers domestic violence, the children are either physically or sexually abused.

But there’s another side to domestic violence this conference will cover, and one that will probably hit home to teachers--teen dating violence.

To address that topic, Iles got Deputy Dist. Atty. Mary Meloch. Meloch has seen so many such cases as a prosecutor that a few years ago she put together a whole program for teachers on signs indicating a student might be in an abusive relationship.

“If you see someone shove his girlfriend up against a school locker, that’s criminal assault,” she said. “Most teachers won’t report that, because it wasn’t something major, like a sock in the nose. But it’s a warning sign of someone trying to control another person’s life. And should be reported.”

Other speakers at this conference have impressive credentials. If you want to drop names, the judge talked state Atty. Gen. William Lockyer into giving the main address. But those who work in this field might be even more impressed with Alyce LaViolette, founder of Alternatives to Violence in Long Beach and co-author of the critically acclaimed book “It Could Happen to Anyone: Why Battered Women Stay.”

LaViolette stays on the road, and I wasn’t able to reach her for this column. But I found these suggestions from the transcript of another conference where she spoke.

Most women stay in these relationships, she said, because they’re convinced they’ll get better. Then later, when they realize it won’t, LaViolette said: “It gets tougher to leave, because there are more emotional and financial ties.”

And the next time I shake my head in disgust at a domestic violence victim who keeps taking it, like a punching bag, I’ll think of these words from LaViolette: “Most of these women have directed their energy into surviving, not planning for escape.”

It’s a topic where all sides of the system agree more needs to be done. Iles has both Orange County Dist. Atty. Tony Rackauckas and Public Defender Carl Holmes breaking bread at this conference, plus a number of her fellow judges who have seen these cases up close.

Our homes are the place where our children are supposed to feel safest. It’s a chilling thought that a child would be frightened enough in that environment to feel compelled to call 911.

My guess is that if the teachers don’t soak up everything they hear at this conference, at least they’ll leave with their sensors up that there may be more to some students’ problems than just a dislike of school.

Jerry Hicks’ column appears Monday and Thursday. Readers may reach Hicks by calling (714) 966-7789 or e-mail to jerry.hicks@latimes.com.