Looks Like Snyder Was Last to Know

Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post, on the underachieving Washington Redskins:

“There’s only one way for the Redskins to salvage this season: Let Norv Turner go right now. No team in the NFL needs shaking up as much as the Redskins.

”. . . The only way to keep this season from being one of the great busts of the past 25 years in pro football is to win the last three games and get in the playoffs.

“You think Turner can rally the troops and do that? I don’t.”

Apparently neither did Redskin owner Dan Snyder. He fired Turner on Monday and named Terry Robiskie interim coach.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for free throws made in a season?

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Soft landing: Mitch Lawrence of the New York Daily News, on struggling former Laker Glen Rice: “Rice’s four-year, $36-million deal is the biggest parachute handed out by the Knicks since Don Nelson was last seen floating by the Statue of Liberty on his way to Maui.”

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Latter is more likely: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “You may get the feeling that Mark Cuban thinks the term ‘loose cannon’ is a compliment. The conundrum is if the Mavs’ owner is a fun-loving rich boy, or, like Donald Trump, has found that flashbulbs can be addictive.”

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More Sherrod: “Books & Covers: Matt Heisenbuttel, the neighborhood butcher? No, a frosh basketballer at Kentucky; John-Paul Visosky, Parisian violinist? Nope, a Trinity lineback; Gershone Jesee, a stock car mechanic? Try a soph forward at Grambling.”

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Was he that thirsty? Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times: “Just thought you’d like to know. For the $2,500 Warren Sapp paid for that drink of water, he could have purchased 1,479 of the big bottles of Evian.”

More Shelton: “Did you notice that part of the reason Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark had to pay $600,000 in fines for salary cap dodge ball was because of paying Jim Druckenmiller. . . . At least Sapp got water.”

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No hanging chads: Milwaukee Buck guard Ray Allen, after leading his team to an improbable comeback victory over the Miami Heat:

“I think Miami gave up. They thought the game was over. Florida has been bad for the whole country, but it has been good to us.”

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Coming up short: Bob Kravitz in the Indianapolis Star, on the disappointing Indianapolis Colts:

“There was enough talent here to at least make the playoffs, and please spare me all this ridiculous talk about expectations were too high. They weren’t too high. Nobody was expecting another 13-3 season. But a 10-6 year? A playoff spot? Absolutely.

“The Colts will be quick to point out that it appears there will be four new division winners out of six, and two other Super Bowl hopefuls, Washington and St. Louis, are taking on water. Sorry, but the parity excuse is for losers. Call it for what it is: a monumental failure, an epic exercise in underachievement.”

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Hedging: The board of directors of the U.S. Olympic Committee has adopted a resolution making either Al Gore or George W. Bush its honorary chair, and either Dick Cheney or Joseph Lieberman as honorary vice chair.

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Rock bottom: Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, commenting on the 1-12 Chargers’ 45-17 loss to the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday:

“This one didn’t carry enough lifeboats. And, somewhere not far away, I thought I heard a band playing the ‘Chargers Give Up Song’ over the whine of overused bilge pumps.”

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Trivia answer: Jerry West of the Lakers, 840 in 1965-1966.

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And finally: Cleveland Brown kicking great Lou “The Toe” Groza, who died Wednesday night at the age of 76, once advised a young kicker, “If you miss one, just blame it on the holder and go on to the next one.”