LAUGH LINES

Going South: “Mexico President Vicente Fox was sworn into office [recently.] . . . The peaceful transfer of power was impressive. . . . The next day, Mexican border patrol agents caught hundreds of Americans trying to sneak south for a better life.” (Argus Hamilton)

Safe and Sound: “We’ve made it through hurricane season without a single hurricane hitting the United States. . . . The hot air of the campaign pushed all potential storms out to sea.” (Daily Scoop)

Giving Thanks: “On ‘Access Hollywood,’ they interviewed a woman, a dancer . . . who says she spent time with actor Robert Downey Jr. in his room on Thanksgiving Day. . . . So, Downey was in a hotel room, [allegedly] with a stripper [and drugs]. . . . or, as you call that in Hollywood, an old-fashioned, traditional Thanksgiving.” (Jay Leno)

Changes in Store: “For the first time, the Rev. Peter Stone will conduct services at his St. Philip’s Church in England as the Rev. Carol Stone, after undergoing a sex-change operation. . . . She’s calling her first sermon an overview of her experience, ‘Altered at the Altar.’ ” (Ira Lawson)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.