How Many Sacks of Concrete Can You Stuff Into a Jetta?
News, notes and oddities from around the automotive world:
The Realm of the Absurd Is Boundless: But when we saw an ad in the AutoWeek gift guide, we knew a new level of pointless over-engineering had been achieved.
The device being advertised is described as “one of the coolest, highest quality products you will ever own or give as a gift.” Among the features: 6061-T6 aluminum with aircraft anodizing, sealed bearings with viscous damping, kits to mount to a variety of surfaces, quick-flip retainer, quick-flip body design for either high or low center of gravity and a “high-speed, zero-gravity cinch cord.” Comes in red, purple or blue with custom engraving available. The manufacturer, Webb USA, advertises two models: the F3 for $139.95 and the larger F4 for $149.95.
And just what is this race-proven, patented innovation?
A cup holder. Or as the manufacturer calls it, Beverage Containment Systems’ Gyromation. The term “cup holder” doesn’t even appear in the ad. Everyone knows that Americans’ love of cup holders has turned that feature into a deal breaker for some car sellers.
But if you insist on throwing away up to 150 bucks, send it in 10s and 20s to the Dr. Gear Head Racing Fund at the address listed below.
I’ll Take Any Coupon, Any Year: For Ronnie Vincent, it wasn’t just any Earl Scheib coupon, but one he found in the April 5, 1965, Kansas City Star while doing alley cleanup a few weeks ago. It promised a “Supreme Paint” job for $49.95. The Westchester man took the coupon and his ’73 Malibu to a Scheib shop in Santa Monica.
“Naturally, we decided to honor the coupon,” said Chris Bement, chief executive of Earl Scheib Inc. “In a situation like this, we ask ourselves, ‘What would Earl have done?’ ”
The company says the 1965 paint job featured in the coupon is equivalent to a $499.95 package offered today. To further honor the memory of “the legendary spokesman of auto painting,” the company threw in some body repair work at no extra charge. Earl did say, “No ups, no extras.”
An SUV by Any Name . . . We were going to make fun of the name of Saturn’s forthcoming sport-utility vehicle--which at its unveiling a few weeks ago was simply being called “the Saturn SUV.” But darn the luck if the folks in Spring Hill, Tenn., didn’t change the name to the Saturn Vue. And what does that stand for? Nothing.
“It’s really just a takeoff on ‘view,’ ” said Chuck Harrington, the General Motors division’s Western regional manager of communications. Saturn asked employees for suggestions, receiving 550 names in response. A naming consulting firm added a few more, and the list was pared to 18 for review by the naming experts, customers and other judges. Saturn won’t reveal the alternatives, in case it decides to use one for another product.
And why not use the name at the introduction? Because Saturn knew that automotive journalists are easily confused and that it could sucker one of us into eventually asking the question. Darned if it didn’t work.
Fahrvergnuegen? The accompanying photo came to us over the Internet. Just in case you haven’t seen it three times already, we present a lesson in how not to transport building materials.
The owner of this VW Jetta apparently doesn’t understand what gross vehicle weight rating means. In addition to some 2-by-4s, 4-by-4s and wood composite sheeting, there were reportedly 10 80-pound bags of concrete mix in the back seat. Estimated weight of all this: 3,000 pounds.
The rear tires were done for and the rear shock absorbers were driven up through the body. And just in case you’re revving up for a trip to the lumberyard in your Veedub, keep in mind that the current Jetta weighs in at about 2,900 pounds and has a payload capacity of about 900 pounds.
Well, Officer, It’s Yellow and 20 Feet High by 40 Feet Long: Owners of popular Honda and Toyota models aren’t the only ones who worry about theft. Thieves also are enamored of industrial equipment of all types, to the tune of about $1 billion in stolen earthmovers a year.
The folks at LoJack Corp., who have been putting tracking devices in passenger vehicles for years, are branching out to heavier vehicles. With its partner, online auction portal and exchange IronOx.com, the company is selling a more rugged module for use on bulldozers and backhoes.
So if you worry more about your Toyota forklift than your Camry, piece of mind is here. But what’s next? OnStar for window washing rigs?
Don’t Worry, It’ll Be OK: Are you a Mopar fan who despairs over the current state of affairs at the domestic side of DaimlerChrysler?
Well, if dreaming of the days of hemi-head ‘Cudas doesn’t bring a smile to your face, check out the spoof ad for an ’88 Dodge Aries K car at AdCritic.com (https://www.adcritic.com/content/spoof-dodge-88-dodge-aries-k-car.html). Appropriately, the music accompanying the ad is “Loops of Fury” by the Chemical Brothers. After you watch this production of Afreshvibe.com, things won’t seem nearly as bad as they could be. Or were.
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Robert Beamesderfer can be reached at bob.beamesderfer@latimes.com.
