Garrett Not Big Believer in What He Reads Lately

I have the straight scoop from USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett.

All is well at USC, Garrett said in a telephone call Thursday, and anyone who thinks the search for a new coach has officially reached the debacle stage thinks so only because they have been reading the newspaper.

For some time now I’ve suspected the same thing, but never thought it was my place to come right out and say the public is putty in our hands or incapable of thinking on its own.

Initially, I had my doubts what with all the contrary e-mail I get, but then I realized the only reason people write what they do is because some other newspaper has gotten to them first.

Let’s face it, for most people it should be Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and T.J., but for some reason this seems to be a problem for Garrett.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, and I presume he was not referring to Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.

I asked Garrett for some help so I would know what I was talking about, but I got the feeling it was a far bigger project than he could handle.

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GARRETT DID SAY he’s had to “alter” his criteria for hiring a “proven head coach with a winning record,” because of the “availability of talent.”

In newspaper terms: Garrett is down to the bottom of the barrel.

He said reports that people have been calling with negative things to say about Pete Carroll are true, but then “we’ve gotten negative feedback on all of [the candidates].”

I wish the UCLA people would mind their own business.

He said he’s not concerned about the popularity of his final selection, but only if he can get USC into national championship contention.

Sounds as if he’s ready to make a pact with the devil.

Maybe that’s why he was so touchy when I opened the interview with the question: “So Mike, what the hell have you been doing?”

He also didn’t like it when I suggested that everyone is saying this is a big mess and he’s coming across like a bungling administrator.

“No one writes our story,” he said, which is difficult because Trappist Monks talk more than Garrett in recent weeks.

“You have no idea what’s going on. You characterize what is happening here--it’s your perception, people read you and they believe what you write. And people believe you know more than you do, and then others in the news business and TV pick up on what you’re saying--then everybody in the public believes it.”

I never thought of myself as any kind of Pied Piper for the mindless rabble, but then the phone rang, and I found myself talking to a pair of USC alumni, and talk about mindless rabble.

Jonathan Wolk, Class of ’92 and a real estate broker; and Eric Garfield, Class of ’93 and an accountant, said they had been reading the newspaper and now they were thinking of organizing a group of 50 to 100 Trojan contributors and asking them to stop making donations to the school if Carroll was hired.

“You people have to stop reading the newspaper,” I said.

The accountant replied: “Garrett’s done nothing to defend himself--every time he’s on TV, he says, no comment. I think he owes us some direct answers. His approach fosters a certain kind of arrogance and even anger toward him.”

The real estate broker was more specific. “Garrett’s the problem.”

Both men said they have called Garrett, and he has never called back. They said they fear USC is about to lose its vaunted football tradition, and yet they feel helpless and voiceless.

“The school has done wonders for my career, my life, and football has been such a pleasure,” the accountant said. “I don’t think I could totally stop contributing, but I’ll probably donate to the academic side from now on.”

Garrett reacted with surprise that anyone could find fault with what he has been doing, and I’d like to know what newspaper he reads, because his thinking has been shaped much differently.

He said he has done a good job in this search for a new coach, and said, “My bosses like the way I’m doing it.”

His boss doesn’t return phone calls, so Garrett could have gotten away with keeping everyone in the dark until a puff of white smoke was seen high over Heritage Hall.

And if that were the case, I have a pretty good idea what Garrett would be using to start the fire.

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THE BIG 3: Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal and Mike Penberthy need help.

Brian Shaw, Horace Grant and Robert Horry played a combined 75 minutes against Portland and scored two points.

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PENBERTHY HAS MADE 21 of his last 31 shots. Unofficially, the players he has been guarding in that time have made 49 of 50.

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HAD THE ANGELS not picked up a minor league shortstop for Seth Etherton, they could have gone to a pitching-starved Texas and gotten Royce Clayton, expendable after the arrival of Alex Rodriguez, and who wanted to be dealt to a team near his home in L.A. Instead, he went to Chicago, and if you’ve made the drive from the Valley to Anaheim, Chicago is closer.

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SAN FRANCISCO WIDE RECEIVER Jerry Rice might be playing his last game at home Sunday, and said, “I’d like to set the stadium on fire.”

I think most people feel that way about 3Com Park.

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FED UP WITH doping accusations, Lance Armstrong said he might not ride in the Tour de France.

I’m sure cooler heads will prevail, Armstrong will take a Valium and be ready to race when it comes time.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Tom:

“Pete Carroll? Pete Carril wouldn’t have made any less sense.”

More sense--he could have also coached the UCLA basketball team.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com.