Hot Dogs and . . . Caviar?

I went to my first basketball game in 1960, to watch Bill Russell and the Boston Celtics, then reigning NBA champions. I ate a hot dog, because that and a bag of peanuts was just about all you could get at Boston Garden in those days.

Now, 40 years hence, I’m standing outside Staples Center, staring at the purple and red Op Art facade with a rumbling stomach. Planning what to eat here is a daunting task. Whether one is there to see the Lakers, Clippers or Kings, or a rock group like Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (there Saturday), Staples Center offers more food choices than any 10-year-old hot dog aficionado ever could have dreamed of.

The downside is that there happens to be unfortunate elitism in all of this. When Seattle SuperSonics Coach Paul Westphal observed that “they built this place for the suite holders,” I believe he was talking about the seating. He would have been equally correct had he been talking about food concessions.

Unless you are a suite holder, premier-level pass holder or a guest of someone in those categories, chances are you will be confined to the Main Concourse area, where commercial fast-food venues with pumped-up prices await.

Should you qualify for elite status at Staples, though, you are catered to by Levy Restaurants, a Chicago-based company that runs catering and restaurant operations in places such as Anaheim’s Edison Field, Comiskey Park in Chicago, American Airlines Arena in Miami and several other professional sports venues around the country.

Levy is a class act. Most of the food it prepares is a lot better than it needs to be.

One way for the regular ticket holder to dine upscale at Staples, though, is by dining at the Fox Sports Sky Box, located at 1111 S. Figueroa St., directly next to the VIP entrance to Staples Center. The best strategy is to come early--say, a good two hours before game time. Tables here are invariably hard to secure, especially on the night of a popular event, since the restaurant only takes reservations during lunch. What’s more, you don’t need a ticket to an event to dine here.

What follows is a rundown of food at Staples Center. Settling for a bag of peanuts, though still satisfying, seems downright Jurassic for a 21st century sports fan.

Fox Sports Sky Box

“It’s like being inside ‘Tthe Matrix,’ ” says my non-sports-fan friend Katherine, whom I have dragged to a Clippers game on a Saturday night.

I’m busy watching the Kings on one of the restaurant’s dozens of big-screen TVs. She’s experiencing sensory overload, looking at an appetizer called Tower of Onion Ring Power, three stacks of bionic onion rings with an appearance more like a Parker Brothers board game than like something to eat.

But soon we are both distracted by platters of good-looking food. I’ve ordered the Crispy Crab Cake appetizers, and these are good enough to please Sen. Bulworth. It’s a plate of two golden-brown discs composed of pure Dungeness crab meat, scallions, poblano peppers and cilantro, served with a nice lemon caper remoulade and a side of jicama slaw.

Katherine, meanwhile, is enjoying her side Caesar salad with fat croutons and shaved Parmesan, a salad as macho as the faux brushed metal tabletops our dishes rest on.

Actually, it’s quite macho in here, from the track lighting to the loud, brassy, whistle-blowing, speaker-blaring ambience. So is the menu, designed by Staples Center’s able executive chef Michael Thoms. There is barbecue, like a good pulled pork sandwich, and slow-smoked baby backs with creamy celery slaw. I’d also give high marks to steaks and chops, particularly the 22-ounce rib-eye, and a double-thick pork chop.

Most sandwiches and main dishes come with a mountain of crisp fries dusted with either Parmesan cheese or chopped garlic. For dessert, there are huge slices of chocolate cake and proper banana splits. Your inner child will be well taken care of at Fox Sports Sky Box, budget permitting.

Dinner for two, $35-$69.Open 11 a.m.-11 p.m. daily.

Main Concourse

Concessions on the Main Concourse, with the exception of McDonald’s, are operated by a national catering company named Ogden, in partnership with the franchisees.

Yes, there is a McDonald’s, and I have nothing to add about what they serve, except for the fact that turning your burger into a combo (adding fries and a drink) sets you back an extra $3.50 in this joint.There is also the option of eating at Pizza Hut, where your personal-sized pizza is $5.50, about what you pay at an airport.

I sampled a few dishes at the concourse’s Panda Express, where combo dinners are $6.50. All the dishes I tasted--orange chicken, beef broccoli and a teriyaki chicken bowl--were sweet, gluey and insipid. Proceed at risk. Then there is the Mexican vendor Camacho’s, where a heaping, caloric pile of nachos with beans and cheese is $6.50, and a workmanlike burrito with beef and cheese is $5.75.

You’ll also find Ben and Jerry’s ice cream bars sold from freezer stands at $3.75, and Wetzel’s Pretzels, baked fresh and topped with runny cheese sauce or a light cinnamon and sugar dusting, also for $3.75 apiece.

When I’m on the Main Concourse, chances are you’ll spot me at Frank’s and Bev’s eating a Farmer John hot dog for $2.75, perhaps the best buy up here. Otherwise I might splurge and hit the 11th Street Deli, braving some of the longest lines in the building. The deli serves a reasonably good hoagie and an even better pastrami sandwich, and both are $6.75. But chances are even better I’ll go Jurassic. Where is that peanut guy?

Premier Level

Hey, I’ve gotten lucky. My friend Robin is a season ticket holder on the Premier Level, and that entitles us to access to the Arena Club (capacity 526). We’ve decided to go for the Chef’s Table, a snazzy buffet. At $29.95 per person, it’s rather pricey for what turns out to be a somewhat limited selection. But the overall quality is fine, and the choices are both hip and eclectic.

We start at the salad table, which includes hummus, red pepper and eggplant dips, an olive selection and tomato and mushroom bruschettas. There is also Israeli-style couscous, fresh fruit, tomato and feta cheese, butter lettuce, spinach frisee and boutique dressings.

Main courses on the steam table that evening include wasabi-crusted tuna, peppercorn-studded prime rib, cavatappi pasta with blackened shrimp tossed to order, and steamed vegetables. Everything is reasonably good, and both of us go back for seconds. Desserts, which are extra, include an eye-popping, M&M-studded; cappuccino pie, large enough for an entire family.

The Arena Club also offers a full menu and it isn’t the only place to eat at Staples if you’re among the very privileged. The Premier Level also has premium concessions like the Carvery, where you can get sumptuous sandwiches, and the Premier Club, generally reserved by large groups, where a caviar tasting is just one of the options.

There is also the lofty and exclusive Grand Reserve Room, members only. This room is appointed with private humidors for cigar smokers, an octagonal wine room stocked with high-priced wines and fancy furniture. And for those with individual suites, food is served in suite from a special menu, anything from chilled Dungeness crab to made-to-order pasta.

Most people reading this won’t ever experience all those goodies, though, and there’s the rub. Staples Center may well be a sports venue designed for the third millennium. Too bad what most fans eat here hasn’t evolved much past the Dark Ages.