Courthouse View of Valentine’s Day

Two friends of mine, who were obtaining a marriage license at the Santa Ana Courthouse, idly asked a clerk if it was fun working amid all the starry-eyed lovers. Not really, the clerk responded, explaining that a lot of couples show up in bad moods.

The clerk cited one argument between a woman who wanted to be married in the courthouse and her fiance, who wanted to tie the knot elsewhere. The increasingly bitter exchange was put on hold when the woman excused herself to go to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, she hadn’t returned. A search revealed that she had left.

What’s worse, she was the one who had driven them to the courthouse.

I waited until Valentine’s Day had passed to tell you this story.

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DINING GUIDE FOR THE DARING: Hi, my name’s Steve and I’ll be your waiter. Here are our specials:

* Margaret Guerra of L.A. spotted a beastly recipe.

* Rita Singman of Arcadia saw a marquee advertising a smoggy dog.

* Nancy Caldwell of Sun City came upon a Chicken Rosemary that may have been in too much of a hurry.

If you’re still hungry after hearing about those doubtful delicacies, Judi Watkins of Glendora noticed a diet plan with an East European spin (see accompanying).

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MYSTERY OF THE WEEK: “My friends and I are insanely curious to know why we often see large pink trucks on the freeway with a single large black letter painted on the side,” wrote Ann Close of the USC Wrigley Institute for Environmental Studies.

On the Harbor Freeway she recently sighted a truck with the letter “f.”

“We were hoping the letters might spell out ‘Mary Kay Cosmetics’ or something else pinkish, but alas . . . no luck,” Close said. “Might you have any idea who owns these trucks or what the letters spell out?”

OK, readers, get to work.

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L.A. TRAVIATA: Performers have worn all manner of uniforms at the Great Western Forum.

Still, Paul Fingerote was a bit surprised at what he saw at Luciano Pavarotti’s recent concert in Inglewood.

“Through my binoculars, I noticed that he was wearing what appeared to be black tennis shoes with his otherwise formal attire,” said Fingerote, who had driven to Inglewood from Monterey. “Is this a new fashion statement?”

And, Fingerote wondered, should they be known as “tenor’s shoes”?

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IS THERE ANOTHER RESEDA? “In the movie ‘Terminator 2’ they talk about the Terminator shooting up a mall in Reseda--there are no malls in Reseda!” write Keith and Jamie McCorkle. “In the movie ‘A Kid in King Arthur’s Court’ the kid--’Calvin of Reseda’--tells the people of old Camelot that Reseda is the bowling capital of the world--there are no bowling alleys in Reseda! In the song ‘Free Falling’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, he sings, ‘It’s a long day, living in Reseda. There’s a freeway running through the yard’--there are no freeways in Reseda!”

The McCorkles, by the way, live in Reseda--”the real Reseda,” as they call it.

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THE COLD TRUTH: Court reporter Ira Lee Newlander sent along an excerpt of a deposition by a local businessman who was saying that he formerly lived in Michigan.

“Why did you move to California?” he was asked.

“I lived in Michigan,” the businessman repeated, as though no further explanation were needed.

miscelLAny:

In California Law News Alert, an online publication for the legal community, Robert Kaufman read about a police lineup in which each of the suspects was asked to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot!” for the benefit of eyewitnesses. Suddenly, one suspect yelled, “That’s not what I said!”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.