When This Actor Dreams, He Sees Porky Pig

This story is so weird it could be true.

Since Bob Bergen was 5 years old, he claims, he wanted to be Porky Pig. Really.

If you wanted to be a ‘toon--and no doubt some do--why Porky Pig? Bugs Bunny has panache. Daffy Duck has attitude, a quality much valued in our culture even if it makes it hard on all of us who think life would be better with less of it.

The Tasmanian Devil has a certain manic je ne sais quoi--a condition that could probably be effectively treated with lithium, but one that makes Taz intriguing nonetheless.

But Porky Pig?

Porky Pig is a trouser-less hog whose defining characteristic is one of the most painful stammers in film history. Besides, as Bergen’s mother told him when he first confessed his strange aspiration, “Honey, you can’t be Porky Pig. You’re Jewish.”

As you have probably surmised, Bob Bergen is an actor (what a surprise, in the Valley) who makes his living doing voices for commercials, animated series, features and the other strange things that voice actors do to make a buck. Bergen once got paid to dub in Phoebe Cates’ hiccups for a film, and he has given voice to both sperm and a nose hair (don’t ask).

In order to get a wider audience--one that actually gets to see Bergen’s face--he and friend Steven Paul Leiva have written a one-man show called “Bob Bergen: Not Just Another Pretty Voice.”

As Bergen explained Monday night when the show opened at North Hollywood’s Whitmore-Lindley Theatre Center, his childhood desire to be the Porkster was grounded in his uncanny ability to imitate Porky’s voice.

There is a theory, believed by parents everywhere, that every child has a talent. Some can draw. Some can multiply large numbers in their heads. Macauley Culkin could do that extremely marketable thing with his eyebrows. You have to wonder how Bergen’s parents felt when they discovered theirs was the one kindergartner in a million who could do a perfect imitation of Pepe Le Pew.

From Cincinnati to Hollywood

Bergen isn’t candid about his age, not unreasonable given his profession--he will say only that he is in his 30s--but he is frank about why he decided to do the show.

“I want to branch out into the world of on-camera,” he says. “I want to be seen.”

What he really wants is a sit-com. And he figures that tailoring a show to what he does best and dramatizing his life story in the process can only help his chances.

“It’s really nice,” he reasons, “for people not just to see your work, but to see who you are.”

And if those people are casting directors, it’s really, really nice.

Initially, two things stood in the way of Bergen’s quest to become Porky Pig: He lived in Cincinnati, and Mel Blanc already had the job.

For half a century, Blanc was the voice of most of the immortal Warner Bros. cartoon characters, not just Porky but Bugs, Daffy, Tweety Pie, Sylvester and the Road Runner.

But when he was 14, Bergen moved with his family to Los Angeles. Thanks to a potent combination of chutzpah and serendipity, he discovered how cartoons are actually cast and found his way to a gifted teacher of voice acting, Daws Butler, who wisely counseled, “If you physically play the character, the voice will follow.”

Happily resorting to chicanery, Bergen got to meet his idol. He had seen Blanc interviewed on TV and decided to call him up, not realizing that Los Angeles has more phone directories than Cher has tattoos. But Bergen was clever as well as relentless. He recalled that Blanc had mentioned his wife, Estelle, in the interview and discovered the legendary “man of 1,000 voices” at the other end of a phone listed under “E. Blanc” in Pacific Palisades.

Bergen eventually got to see Blanc work in a studio, and his show includes a devastating imitation of Blanc sucking alternately on a cigarette and an oxygen mask as he performs. The inevitable moment comes, as we know it will, when Bergen learns his hero has died. Cigarettes will kill you, but they don’t necessarily do it quickly. Blanc died July 10, 1989, at the age of 81.

Bergen recalls wondering: “Should I be in mourning right now or should I call my agent?”

Getting a Shot at Looney Tunes

With Blanc’s death, Bergen got his shot. He says of auditioning for Looney Tunes for the great Chuck Jones, “This is like doing Jesus for God.” And Bergen’s show, which continues Monday evenings indefinitely, has a happy ending. He is one of a number of actors who has played Porky Pig, as well as Marvin the Martian and Tweety.

Much of the fun of the show is provided by Bergen’s mocking the people who hire him. He does a withering imitation of a British voice director who urged him to bring more angst to the line: “I taught I taw a puddy tat.”

And Bergen tells a very funny story about how he almost supplied the voice of the frog that croaks “Er” in the classic Budweiser Super Bowl commercial. To maximize the voice actors’ performances, the producers had each stand behind the actual animatronic frog whose voice he was to provide. Much tumult ensued when the director realized the frogs had been misplaced and “Bud” was in front of the actor who was to supposed to croak “Weis” and so forth.

Let Bergen tell you why his brilliant performance as “Er” never aired and someone else got rich on the residuals.

No Regrets So Far

Bergen has supported himself in his weird but chosen profession for 15 years. He just bought a new house in Woodland Hills. It has a bar where he has already installed a six-foot-tall fiberglass Porky Pig. Bergen outbid another Looney Tune fan for it on eBay.

“I know deep down my folks would have loved for me to go to Harvard and be a doctor or a lawyer or something with a little more security in it,” says Bergen. “But I’ve got this disease. I’m an actor. And it’s a wonderful disease to have.”

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Spotlight appears every Friday. Patricia Ward Biederman can be reached at valley.news@latimes.com.