Shaq and Supershaq
Laker announcer Chick Hearn and the ubercenter philosophize in the locker roomAs reported last month, L.A. Lakers Coach Phil Jackson gave center Shaquille O’Neal a book by German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Shaq said he would be sure to read it, “completely analyze it and memorize it,” and put it to use.
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Chick: Another great Los Angeles victory, what a terrific season they’re having, and Shaquille O’Neal! Come over here, big fella. Outstanding performance!
Shaq: Thanks, Chick, I owe it all to the fact that God is dead.
Chick: Your blocked shots helped out there, too.
Shaq: Just keepin’ it real. Because I am an bermensch, I was also able to play within myself and let the game, you know, come to me.
Chick: ubermensch?
Shaq: See my tattoo? Right there, says, “SUPERMAN.”
Chick: And that was you all right tonight . . .
Shaq: That means ubermensch in German.
Chick: Well, whether it’s ubers or Goobers, it certainly seems you have reached your potential.
Shaq: To master oneself is the hardest of all tasks.
Chick: I see you’re still carrying the book Coach Phil Jackson gave you.
Shaq: Yeah, well, I thought maybe he’d give me a book on Wilt or Kareem. Or something by Dr. Seuss, like Kobe got.
Chick: And I understand that when Phil coached the Bulls, he gave Dennis Rodman the Boy George autobiography.
Shaq: Hey, it’s beyond good and evil out there, Chick. He gave Rick Fox a Jacqueline Susann novel.
Chick: You’re even making your free throws.
Shaq: Freedom of the will, man.
Chick: Correct me if I’m wrong, that’s also Nietzsche. And Friedrich Wilhelm, for those of our listeners on the simulcast who don’t know, went insane at the age of 44.
Shaq: Like Pat Riley, yeah. But that ain’t the party. Absolute power is, and that’s what we need to make it through the playoffs. Thus spake Shaquille! Huh! Checkitout. Hip-hop.
Chick: Spake?
Shaq: Ask Phil, I don’t know what that is either.
Chick: OK, I will. One more question: Where do you see this interest in Nietzschean philosophy leading you?
Shaq: Probably to Kierkegaard. And Jung, maybe. Oh, man, I don’t know. I may just do a rap song on the “Zarathustra” thing from the “2001” movie. Phil says it was a hit, you know, back in the ‘60s.