Imagine the Waves in Heaven

“Is there surfing after death?” a reader asks in the latest edition of Dana Point-based Surfer magazine. The editors threw that one to Rabbi Nachum Shifren, the Valley boy turned “Surfin’ Rabbi” (he has a Web site you can surf, too).

Shifren spoke of “chochma” (wisdom), “ancient kabbalists,” and “the blessed infinite light of the Creator.” And, in case anyone besides me had trouble riding his philosophical wave, he concluded:

“Pray for surf.”

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DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT GEOGRAPHY: The occasional appearance of wacky maps here prompted Martin Levinson, a film editor and archivist at ABC, to send along one of his favorites, which appeared in a now defunct newspaper in the Midwest (see accompanying).

I said Midwest, not Mideast.

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BRING YOUR OWN FIRE AX: W.R. Hoyer snapped a couple of dueling signs that might give customers a bit of a start at one Southland bank (see photo).

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AS IF THINGS WEREN’T SPACEY ENOUGH HERE: Isn’t it lovely to see Southern California scenes in the “X-Files” since the TV show relocated here? There was the brain-eating-extraterrestrial-chef episode set in Costa Mesa a while back. And the other night there was . . . well, I’ll let agent Scully give you a hint with this line of dialogue:

“What does any of this have to do with your brother being found decapitated at the Santa Monica Pier?”

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MEANWHILE, OVER THE HILL: Chuck McPeak of Manhattan Beach chastises me for omitting “Earth Girls Are Easy” as a source of memorable dialogue about the San Fernando Valley. McPeak notes that Jeff Goldblum “is an interstellar space cruiser whose ship crashes into the pool of Gena Davis. He begins making moves on her, at which point she speaks the never-to-be-forgotten words, “I don’t know if this is going to work out. After all, you’re from outer space and I am from the Valley.”

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CRYING FOWL! That slayer of urban folk tales, the San Fernando Valley Folklore Society, https://www.snopes.com, has debunked another rumor--that “KFC restaurants no longer use the word ‘chicken’ to describe their product because they serve meat from genetically engineered animals.”

Actually, KFC uses the word “chicken” all the time. And not in the eerie way that one restaurant spotted by Bernie and Renee Hershey does (see accompanying).

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SURF CITY LOOK-ALIKES DEPT.: As you probably heard, the Supreme Court ruled the other day that people who suddenly run from police can be stopped and questioned. It reminded me of a state Court of Appeal ruling in 1998 that held that Huntington Beach police had the right to question a man with an ax who was riding a bicycle at 3 a.m.

“Some things cannot be ignored,” the court said.

The bicyclist was found to be in possession of amphetamines. Police said they believed him to be intoxicated, in part because of his response when asked where he was. He was quoted as saying that he was reasonably sure he was “either in Long Beach or Bakersfield.”

miscelLAny:

Did you read where the Pentagon now admits that there was a malfunction involving one of its spy satellites New Year’s Day? I think it was just put to sleep by L.A.’s New Year’s Eve show.