AUGH LINES

Live and Let Live: “Have you been watching that new CBS show ‘Big Brother,’ where 10 people live together in the big house? [It’s] just 10 people in a house. . . . What’s that? This is L.A.--everybody lives like that.” (Jay Leno)

Look Who’s Watching: “The slogan [for ‘Big Brother’] is ‘Big Brother is watching.’ . . . Have you seen the ratings? I think the only one watching is Big Brother.” (Leno)

It’s a Crime: “There’s a new travel book out showcasing America’s most famous crime scenes. It’s called ‘Crime Scene USA.’ . . . And a video to go with the book is being produced by . . . NFL Films.” (Daily Scoop)

Scared Silly: “Fox’s Halloween TV special . . . with omnipresent TV cameras will feature a family who spends a week in the ‘most haunted castle on Earth.’ . . . But enough about the Clintons’ bedroom.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Sweet Deal: “The Mars company is changing the name of Plain M&Ms; to ‘Milk Chocolate M&Ms;’ because it no longer wants people to think of them as plain. In a related story, Al Gore has changed his name to Milk Chocolate Al Gore.” (Craig Kilborn)

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