Let’s Hear It for ‘80s Anthems

Let’s face it: No one on the Hollywood scene would be caught dead in sweatpants. Nor, for that matter, in acid-washed denim, tattered pumps or high-water pants. In Hollywood, it’s all about being fabulous. But at Paladino’s, a low-key nightclub in the San Fernando Valley, they’re letting it all hang out . . . and then some.

It’s no secret that the Valley--in this case, Tarzana--isn’t where Vogue editors dispatch writers for trend-sniffing, and those used to the flash and panache of Tinsel Town might be mortified at Paladino’s lack of both. But hot damn if this new nightclub isn’t striking all the right chords for its target audience.

Long after the music died on the Sunset Strip, the Valley remained rife with rockers living in denial that the ‘80s ever morphed into the ‘90s. The now-defunct FM Station, Bourbon Square and the sporadic Country Club operated as time machines for those who wanted to go back to the hey-daze of Poison and Guns N’ Roses. The easiest way for locals to get their Hesher fix was through tribute bands that celebrated everyone from Van Halen to Alice Cooper to the Rolling Stones.

When the FM Station closed its doors two years ago, those who didn’t want to head over the hill had dwindling few options. But 11 months ago, a former bartender and bar manager, Kenny Paladino, got his hands on a spacious hall at Reseda Boulevard and Oxnard Street and has been busy re-creating the Valley rocker hangs of yore.

In the last five months, Paladino’s has become the place of choice for those who wanna rock, Valley style. Paladino’s began booking a whole lotta tribute bands in January and folks are flocking to hear musicians pay homage to the likes of Pink Floyd, Alice in Chains, Pat Benatar and UFO (we’re not kidding!). And get this, the Bullet Boys are having a record release party on July 22.

One thing Paladino’s has on other surviving Val-venues is size. In previous lives the club was called the Crest and the Jitterbug, and it’s a big rambling pool hall with a spacious raised stage, turquoise booths and bartenders who look like they may have come with the place.

It’s not much on atmosphere, kind of greasy and gritty in the cracks and tattered at the edges, but the people more than make up for it. On a recent visit, we found more square pegs per square foot than at a “Star Trek” convention.

Yes, the citizens of the Valley were represented in all their fashion-less glory, but it was rad. People from all walks of life came to rock out, unfettered by what is hip.

Although Paladino’s biggest nights are Fridays and Saturdays, the Wednesday karaoke bash offers more sociological studies than the Discovery Channel: A bandanna-wearing rocker quit midway through the Stones’ “Angie” because it was in the wrong key. An elderly Asian gent poured his heart out along with Gordon Lightfoot. A smooth cat in a three-piece suit did a bang-up Sinatra, all the while, a hearing-impaired guest with tattoos for sleeves and a dangling wallet chain stood at the edge of the stage, providing impassioned American Sign Language interpretation. Surreal, yeah, but way cool.

Ironically, Hollywood’s rock ‘n’ roll resurgence is stronger than it’s been in a decade, but there’s no need to notify anyone at Paladino’s. Here, they’ll be doing the time warp again and again and again.

BE THERE

Paladino’s, 6101 Reseda Blvd., Tarzana, (818) 342-1563. 21 and over, cover varies.