LAUGH LINES

Speaking Out: “Linda Tripp has announced that she is going to speak out and make more public appearances now that the wiretap charges against her have been dropped. Tripp is going to speak out even more, is what she’s saying. And I say: A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” (Craig Kilborn)

In the Making: “MSNBC is reporting that John Travolta is already at work on a follow-up to ‘Battlefield Earth.’ Hence, the rejected titles for the sequel: ‘We Remember What You Did Last Summer’; ‘Six Days, Seven Customers’; ‘Honey, I Shrunk My Career.’ ” (Steve Voldseth)

Soap Dish: “Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura will be appearing on ‘The Young and the Restless.’ . . . He’ll also be appearing on ‘As the World Wrestling Federation Turns.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Fixer-Upper: “A visitor to the Minnesota Museum ignored ‘Do Not Touch’ signs and sat on a chair from the 16th-century Ming Dynasty, breaking the chair in three places. Officials say the chair can be fixed. . . . Soon, it’ll be good as old.” (Daily Scoop)

Sit This One Out: “Researchers say wine may help people lose weight. It’s not the wine directly that causes weight loss. It’s all the walking around you do, trying to find your car.” (Jay Leno)

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