LAUGH LINES

Remembering the Past: “Both Al Gore and George W. Bush did a little flag waving on the 56th anniversary of D-Day. Gore said D-Day always causes him to remember his days in Vietnam. In Bush’s case, it always causes him to remember his grades in school.” (Ira Lawson)

On the High Seas: “About 200 people aboard Disney’s Magic cruise ship became sick and started vomiting during a three-day cruise, Disney officials said recently. . . . The food was fine. The culprit is that never-ending ‘It’s a Small World’ theme music.” (Jerry Perisho)

What’s in a Name: “A federal judge issued his final ruling: Microsoft must be broken up into two separate companies. One company will sell the Microsoft operating system, the other will produce Microsoft software. Microsoft is vowing to appeal all the way to the Supreme Court. The question now is: What are they going to call the companies? Microsoft and Microsofter?” (Daily Scoop)

Bills of Right: “Judge Jackson said he broke up Microsoft because Bill Gates refuses to admit he broke the law. . . . This is getting old. What is it lately about presidents named Bill who are unable to admit they broke the law?” (Argus Hamilton)

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