Disabled Priest Inspires Courage

It was about six months after his ordination as a Roman Catholic priest that a car crash altered Kevin Bray’s life forever.

Then 24, the Pebble Beach native was in a coma for nine months. When he awoke after the 1967 accident, the novice clergyman learned he had suffered serious brain stem damage, which severely limited his motor skills. Though his intellect was intact, his battered body no longer responded correctly to his brain’s commands.

His plans for a life as a parish priest seemed to disappear, and Bray was left wondering how to best serve God from a wheelchair.

Finding the answer has not been easy, Bray said, but facing life with a disability has helped him spark courage in the lives of other disabled people.

“After the car crash I really thought my life was over. I never thought there would be any place for me as a priest,” he said. “I must renew my acceptance of my loss of independence each day. Sometimes each hour.”

Bray, 57, has become spiritual leader to scores of west county residents who are mentally or physically disabled. West Ventura County Handicapables--part of a worldwide group that stresses a person’s abilities rather than disabilities--meets monthly at local Catholic churches. The priest says Mass and gives Communion to the interdenominational group.

*

For the other members of the group--who come in wheelchairs or use canes, crutches or walkers--Bray is a living example of someone who did not give up on life or on God when confronted with a challenge.

“I never thought my life would be like this at all. I thought I would be in a church some place. But, you can’t foretell the future,” he said.

Bray needed constant nursing care after his accident and for the past 24 years has been a resident at St. Joseph’s Retirement Home in Ojai.

Brother Hugo Stippler, chief executive of the foundation that operates the home, has called Bray his friend since his arrival.

“Wherever he goes, he helps people out as a priest,” Stippler said. “At the Handicapables meetings he stirs them up with his loud voice and he knows most by name. He is essential to the program. I don’t know if it would exist without Father Bray.”

Gabe Gabrielson, a paraplegic Lutheran who has attended Handicapables meetings for more than 15 years, said Bray is a great motivator.

“Even though he is very handicapped, he comes to every meeting--rain, sleet, shine--all the way from Ojai,” Gabrielson said.

Stippler explained that Bray’s 1967 accident caused him to hit his head so hard it bounced back on his brain’s stem, resulting in messages getting jumbled between his brain and body. “When he wants to move his hand his foot might move instead, but his mental part is good--he talks, reasons and remembers,” he said.

Bray’s ministry has taken him to the Ventura County Jail and the county’s youth detention center to offer inspiration to those who are incarcerated. Bray said he hopes prisoners will attempt to salvage their lives after meeting someone with so many physical difficulties who didn’t give up.

Bray, who receives assistance when performing his priestly duties, also ministers to mental patients in psychiatric hospital wards and tries to provide strength for other residents of St. Joseph’s Retirement Home, where he celebrates Mass every Monday, Stippler said. At the home, Bray is available to listen, encourage or cheer up nearly 100 residents and staff members.

*

Bray was selected in 1999 as Hero of the Year by ARC of Ventura County, formerly the Assn. of Retarded Citizens. ARC board member Harriet Weigel said the priest had no idea he was being honored.

“It was a surprise,” she said. “We found out afterward that he thought he was being brought before us because he had done something wrong and had been trying to figure out how he had offended us so he wouldn’t do it again.

“I remember how he looked when he learned he was getting an award--he was grinning from ear to ear.”

Weigel, who has multiple disabilities, said she enjoys the Handicapables meetings, which she said help remind the disabled they are not alone in their struggles.

Gabrielson said the Handicapables sessions are a lifeline for the 60 to 100 mentally and physically disabled people who attend.

“Inactivity can kill,” he said. “It is good for the handicapped to come to the meeting, hear the sermon, eat lunch and have a good time being with each other.”

Many attendees require assistance to get to the sessions. That is where transportation coordinator Fred Ulam comes in. The 77-year-old retiree coordinates about 10 drivers who pick up about 30 of the participants.

“We operate entirely on a zero budget, totally using only volunteers,” said Ulam, adding that he can always use more drivers.

The ministry, currently under the umbrella of Catholic Charities, is also looking for other churches to volunteer their buildings one Saturday a month for the meetings, which begin at 11 a.m. with a service followed by a luncheon and entertainment.

Entertainers are frequently recruited to perform and in the past, an accordion player, pianists and ethnic dancers have performed at the meetings, Ulam said.

Weigel, who has been disabled since 1989, recalled attending her first Handicapables meeting about five years ago. She said she has grown to love Bray, whom she describes as witty and kind.

“He’s a wonderful priest who has a good sense of humor and is well versed in the Scriptures,” said the 66-year-old, who is not Catholic.

California Handicapables Inc. was founded in San Francisco in 1965 by Nadine Calliguiri, a woman with cerebral palsy. The organization now has branches in the U.S., Europe and Asia.

*

There is also an east Ventura County Handicapables chapter that meets monthly. Bray attends those meetings, too, and sometimes the two groups combine their gatherings.

The east county chapter is scheduled to meet July 8 at St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, 5649 Pittman St., in Simi Valley.

“Father Bray is a great guy,” said Simi Valley’s Jackie Kammerer, a Catholic Charities volunteer who organizes the east county chapter. “He is a kind and happy man who has a wonderful spirit that he shares. He keeps Handicapables going.”

The next meetings of the west county chapter will be at Mary Star of the Sea Church, 463 W. Pleasant Valley Road, Oxnard, at 11 a.m. today and at St. Mary Magdalene Church in Camarillo at 11 a.m. Sept. 16.

For more information, call Fred Ulam at 648-6686.