Long Beach Offers Sex Show in Water

There’s a sex change exhibit hereabout, but it’s not on Hollywood Boulevard. It’s at the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific and it showcases several species of fish that form groups in which one male fertilizes all the females. Then, when the male dies (of overwork?), “the dominant female will assume the male role and undergo morphological changes to develop male organs,” the museum says.

Showing daily at the aquarium.

And it’s not even rated PG.

SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THIS CARD: Bruce Brizzard of North Hollywood says that when his wife tried to add his name to her American Express Gold Card account, the customer service person evidently wrote “same” for the name, as well as for the address. You can see the predictable result (I’ve removed some of the numbers).

All I can say, Mr. Brizzard, is:

Don’t leave home with it.

YOU CAN BREATHE EASIER NOW: Patrick Shannon of Tarzana noticed that a brochure from Gelson’s Markets proclaimed:

“Gelson’s purifies its air for the benefit of its customers and employees using Alpine ‘Living Air’ exclusively in our stores.”

Warning: You may get a bit of a chill from the high prices, though.

NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN ROOF: I’m still hearing variations on the urban folk tale about the rich, older woman who bashes the car of a smart-aleck youngster who took her parking place (featured in the 1991 movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”).

Now, Meredith Wright points out that there are similarities with a 1932 movie, “If I Had a Million.” In one sequence, W.C. Fields and his wife are given $1 million by a dying philanthropist after Fields’ car is wrecked by a careless driver.

With the $1 million, Fields and his wife buy several new cars. They ram into each road hog they see, transferring to one of their other new cars each time to continue their roadside avenging.

BOTTOMS UP: Claudia Noble of Huntington Beach came upon a pedestrian symbol that, like car dealer Cal Worthington, will stand on its head to show you where one dining area is in Fullerton (see photo).

AH, NUTS: Don’t know if you’ve heard, but Assemblyman George House (R-Hughson) dropped his proposal to designate the almond as the official state nut because of protests from backers of other candidates.

“You know what they say: There are a lot of nuts in California,” commented Karen Reinecke, president of the California Pistachio Commission.

Especially in Southern California. You want nutty behavior? What about the decision by MTA officials to build the Norwalk-South Bay Green Line so that there is no stop at LAX?

WE’RE NOT NO. 1! Houston’s dogs led the nation when it came to biting U.S. mail carriers last year, with 58 nips. L.A.’s mutts were second with 38.

miscelLAny:

After reading the literary wisecracks about Long Beach here, writer Loel Schrader was reminded of a comment by an executive of a company that furnished cars for a Grand Prix race in that city a couple of decades ago. Asked later what he thought of Long Beach, the exec replied: “I think it was closed when we were there.” Of course, that was before the arrival of the sex-change exhibit.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.