LAUGH LINES

Tough Break: “Recently, rapper Eminem lost a notebook containing lyrics of his upcoming album. Now why couldn’t this have happened to Kathie Lee Gifford before [she made] her new album?” (Andrew Wisot)

Coming Soon . . . : “Ralph Nader has a movie coming out. . . . [It’s called] ‘How the Grinch Stole the Election.’ ” (Jay Leno)

Rate Hike: Regarding the United States Postal Rate Commission’s approval of a one-cent rate increase in the price of first-class stamps: “The Postal Service argued that the increase was needed to offset the escalating costs of labor, automation and . . . ammunition.” (Ira Lawson)

A Change of Heart: “George W. Bush’s slogan during the presidential campaign: ‘I Trust the People.’ . . . Bush’s slogan after the campaign: ‘People Can’t Be Trusted.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Recount History: “How many watched . . . NBC’s Bible miniseries ‘In the Beginning’? . . . [There was an episode] where Moses receives the 10 commandments. Actually . . . at first, Moses only receives eight commandments. . . . Then he asks for a recount, so then more commandments came in.” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.