LAUGH LINES

Fast Forward: “I was watching the closing of the Olympics, and they had an ad . . . for the Olympic videotape of the Summer Games. Why? Didn’t we just watch the whole thing on videotape in the first place?” (Jay Leno)

Bitten by L.A. Bug: “Hollywood movie executives testified before the U.S. Senate. They didn’t look well at all. After 24 hours in Washington, D.C., they were beginning to get homesick for the depth and sincerity of Los Angeles.” (Argus Hamilton)

Give It a Read: “Monica Lewinsky turned down $1 million to pose in Playboy. Too bad. It would have been a first--the first time men really did buy Playboy just to read the articles.” (R.J. Johnson)

Play It Up: According to a survey, “women say guys look their sexiest . . . playing football. You know when women think guys look their least sexy? When they are watching football--’Hey, honey, get me another beer, will ya?’ ” (Leno)

Positive Reactions: “[International Olympic Committee] President Juan Antonio Samaranch called the Sydney Games the best in history. He raved about how everyone was so positive. Some of them were positive for steroids, and some of them were positive for cold medicine.” (Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.