How to Elevate Your Relationship to the Very Highest Level

Well, it is a bit early for Santa. The Los Alamitos News-Enterprise’s police log carried this item out of Cypress: “A woman found a blanket on her roof, leading her to think her ex-boyfriend was living up there.”

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A ROCKY ROAD: Sad to say, this column’s presidential ice cream flavor contest is mired in controversy just two days after it began.

Libertarian member Steve Kelly protested my omission of that party’s candidate, Harry Browne, from the ballot.

But Kelly added: “As loyal as I am, I must admit I’d think twice about tasting any ice cream named Harry Browne.”

Still, rather than risk a court fight, I’m opening the contest to include a Libertarian variety.

Meanwhile, other readers pointed out that I asked for a Pat Buchanan flavor even though he’s the nominee of only one of the Reform Party factions.

Luckily, Frank McDonald of El Segundo has a solution: “What about a Buchanan Banana Split Ticket flavor?”

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MORE OBJECTIONS: Another reader declared that naming ice cream flavors after promise-making politicians wasn’t appropriate. He suggested snow cones instead.

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NO NEED FOR SUCH MODESTY: Ann Gray read an L.A. County Museum of Art announcement (see accompanying) and remarked, “I’ve always thought LACMA tours were exceptionally good, not just ‘decent.’ ”

I’d give some of the credit to the docents who lead the tours.

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UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT: Robert Kinsella of Woodland Hills noticed some cooking instructions that seem to require the impossible (see accompanying).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.