Going Over to the ‘Dark’ Side

After enduring nearly three hours of “Dancer in the Dark,” guests at the screening on Tuesday (at the Directors Guild of America) finally had their sentences commuted to time served.

Fine Line Features, which will be releasing the Lars von Trier film in L.A. next Friday, took over Hollywood’s trendy Cafe Des Artistes for the post-premiere festivities, but even ample Champagne, hors d’oeuvres and luxurious swag--in the form of a red leopard Filofax--did little to lighten the leaden load left by the quasi-musical.

Maybe it’s a French thing, y’all. The cramped restaurant doesn’t exactly have an easy flow plan, and any which way you turned, you either had to make nice with Bjork--the Icelandic singer and star of “Dancer,” who stood near the entranceway to the restaurant’s patio most of the evening--or make nice with a security guard, who bullied people with his flashlight to keep moving. Oui oui.

The film, which took home the Palme d’Or at the Cannes International Film Festival this year for best picture and best actress, also stars Catherine Deneuve, Joel Grey and David Morse, who showed up for the festivities. Also in attendance were actresses Rosanna Arquette and Brooke Langton, and Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis and drummer Chad Smith.

Morse, who plays a cop-gone-bad in the film, says he’s played bad guys before but never one that was so “good.” Deneuve, radiant and very French as she puffed on a cigarette behind sunglasses, said playing a factory worker wasn’t really a stretch, because she’s “been in a factory.” The oddball belle of the ball, Bjork, was rendered speechless by a simple query about how it felt to play a mother. Apparently, she’d hit her analysis limit for the evening.

You knew, at one point, you just had to cut your losses and down some of that French Champagne, because the picture wasn’t gonna get any clearer.