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Please Just Call Me ‘Mister’

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Bill Stamps is a probation officer in Los Angeles County

Twenty or 30 years ago, the incident that led to Bob Knight’s being fired wouldn’t have been about Bob Knight. It would have focused instead on the kid who dared to be disrespectful to the prominent university coach.

On Sept. 11, Indiana basketball head coach Bob Knight was fired after an Indiana University freshman accused the embattled coach of grabbing and cursing him in public. Allegedly, the young man was grabbed when he said to the coach, “Hey, what’s up, Knight?”

According to Bob Knight, he took the kid by the arm and said, “Son, my name is not Knight to you. It’s Coach Knight. I don’t call people by their last name, and neither should you.”

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I have no comment on whether the coach deserved to be dismissed. I am satisfied, however, that the incident says more about the times in which we are living than it does about Bob Knight as a coach or a man.

Why did this 19-year-old freshman feel he had the right to address a major university head coach by his last name? I am the same age as Bob Knight and I would not do it. Were they close friends? I don’t think they even knew each other.

Everyone over 40 knows that there used to be an unwritten rule that youths didn’t address an adult by their first or last name without permission. It was always “Mr.” or “Ms. Johnson,” not “Judy,” “Jim” or just “Johnson.” Youngsters who addressed adults without the proper courtesy titles were considered disrespectful and they were generally immediately corrected. What happened to manners?

Getting back to the Knight incident, why did this young man need to relay this incident to his dad? Was he injured--physically or mentally? Worse yet, did he feel that his actions were appropriate?

When I was growing up, children would not have related such an incident to their parents, in fact, they would have hoped that the adult would also not relate it. They would fear additional discipline and admonishments from their parents. Today, many students dare teachers to discipline them so they can gladly inform their parents and perhaps get the instructor in trouble. Unfortunately, the actions of the instructor become the major issue rather than the behavior of the student.

Why did the kid’s father go to media? One would think that he would first want to speak with the coach and get his side of the story. Since his son admitted how he addressed Coach Knight, apparently the dad didn’t see a problem there. But the father’s actions are no different from the all-too-many parents today who run interference for their children every time the children say they were mistreated by a teacher. Because of these parents, today we have a nation of coddled children who confuse correction, candor and firmness with abuse.

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Some parents would have been glad to have Coach Knight correct their child. Some might have added: “And if he/she does it again, please let me know.” However, those days may be over. Given the climate in which we are living, the coach should have let this one pass. However, being the old disciplinarian he is, he probably couldn’t help himself. Unfortunately, he may be a victim of the times.

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