List of Goals Shows Kids Know the Score

Each spring I do an activity with my seniors that allows them to reflect on their futures. They start with 12 small squares of paper, each labeled with a goal:

* A job I love.

* Travel.

* A spiritual aspect to my life.

* Fame in some field.

* A life partner to love.

* Children.

* Physical fitness.

* A close group of friends.

* Doing something to make the world better.

* A college degree.

* A lot of money.

* Good health.

Next, the students have to decide which goals are essential to a fulfilling life.

After many additions and deletions, they come up with their list, then write down the reasons for their choices.

Only after the results are polled can one get a feel for a particular group of students. It’s almost impossible to predict the results, and this year was no exception. Just when I think I’ve got a group pegged, it slips out of the box.

Granted, this survey is not reflective of all U.S. teenagers, but it is representative of the middle-class suburban kid, so prevalent in Orange County. Within this particular group, most are headed to community colleges and universities, fewer to the military and trade schools.

It was a close race among the students’ top four choices, but the No. 1 “essential” was close friends. I found this surprising until I read their reasons. “You might get mad at your ‘significant other,’ but your friends will always be there,” one said. Another young man said, “As you grow older, your friends shape the kind of person you will become, even replacing your parents at some point.” A third student, bound for Johns Hopkins, said, “Although my parents stress the importance of grades and financial stability, I find it is my friends that keep me emotionally and mentally healthy, who are my greatest source of happiness.”

In second place, these seniors felt, was a wonderful job. As one girl put it, “I want to look forward to getting out of bed every Monday.” A future Regents’ scholar at UC Santa Barbara insisted that he couldn’t go through life having a job that he hated, no matter how much money he made. One person figured out that he’d be at work nearly one-third of his life and that he’d better enjoy it. The students wanted jobs that were exciting and that made them feel they were doing something worthwhile. Again, they wanted a decent salary, but an interesting job was overwhelmingly preferable to a high salary in a boring job.

Third, and just a percentage point behind the job, was finding a lifetime partner. Even though this is a generation that has dealt with plenty of divorce, most still want to share their lives with someone else. Their concept of marriage is amazingly free of adolescent illusions. “If I’m with someone I’m truly close to, it will be easier to go through the inevitable hard times.” “I want a partner who will be anxious to take on the responsibility of raising children with me.” “I look forward to growing old with someone I have shared a lot of experiences with.” Yes, they still have plenty of romantic notions, but they also seem ready for such down-to-earth tasks as fixing broken plumbing and attending back-to-school nights.

In fourth place was having good health, a far departure from its lower ranking in past years. I am not sure why this group of young people is so aware of wellness issues, but they seem to chalk it up to increased information in general. A girl who will be at San Diego State next year asked, “What good are any of these choices, if you are too ill to enjoy them?”

The remaining goals, in order, fell considerably below the top four:

* College education

* Children

* Spirituality

* A lot of money

* Travel

* Doing good works

* Staying fit (not sure how they reconcile this ranking with the one for good health!), and

* Fame

I am curious about why some of these goals placed where they did, but perhaps most amazing is “a lot of money” coming in at No. 8, with 21% listing it as essential to a happy life. Compare this with a recent national survey of college freshman, 73% of whom made “being well off financially” the highest goal.

I shared the results of the survey with my seniors and asked them point blank why they hadn’t rated money higher. They made it clear that adding “a lot” to the idea of “having money” had been a factor. Being comfortable was still important. And comfort meant a nice house, car, entertainment, vacations and the ability to send their kids to college. We’re not talking a monastic existence here, but it isn’t materialistic luxury either. They also admitted that, for the majority, having been raised in a relatively secure financial environment perhaps made them less concerned about money.

I really enjoyed doing this activity with my students, and it’s also good news. Heaven knows we need some right now. For every kid who acts out in an antisocial way, there are thousands who are decent, thoughtful young people who seem to have their priorities straight. On that note, it seems fitting to close with a comment from one of the girls in my fifth-period class: “I want to achieve many of these goals, but I also want to enjoy the journey.”

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Christine Baron is a high school English teacher in Orange County. You can reach her at oceducate@latimes.com or (714) 966-4550.