Davis’ Tenure a Tale of Derring-Don’t

A couple of years ago, while I was writing a prematurely flattering story about Gray Davis, the California governor told me he didn’t like raising money.

In retrospect, it was like having an ant tell me he didn’t like picnics.

Davis has firmly established himself as one of the all-time great panhandlers in American political history. He cannot possibly be this good without a secret passion for it.

This week’s campaign reports tell us the Democrat has hustled an average of $1 million a month for 30 months without getting a single hair out of place, giving him 10 times as much as his closest Republican rival in 2002.

He tends to go after the high-rollers, but Davis is such a bloodhound, I’ve stopped leaving change on my kitchen counter at night.

When I wrote that story two years ago, Davis claimed that despite a distaste for shaking down everyone he met, he had no choice. He had to prepare for the day when some tragically bored multimillionaire would take up hunting and try to blow him out of the governor’s mansion.

No dummy, this Davis. It looks like ex-Los Angeles Mayor Dick Riordan could be the governor’s Elmer Fudd.

Lucky us.

If Riordan runs, we’ll have a choice between a guy who stands for virtually nothing but fund-raising and a guy who couldn’t find Bakersfield without a road atlas and a prayer from Cardinal Mahony.

Riordan, at least, is enough of a bungler to be interesting, and with President Bush whispering in his ear, there’s no cap on the potential entertainment value.

But Davis, with his wax museum smile, is the shining symbol of the modern politician as professional officeholder. The job is not to lead, but to win and hold office, primarily by taking no risks.

Bill Clinton made it art, surrendering his soul but not his smile. Al Gore gamely moved to the middle of the road, only to get hit by a truck.

Los Angeles Mayor Jim Hahn is out of the same mold. You get the sense that Careful Jim’s dream is to quietly and efficiently advance no particular agenda whatsoever.

Toss Gray Davis in with this crowd and you’ve got a sort of political Levittown. You need strong glasses to tell one from the other.

President Bush, by contrast, is a bull on the loose. National parks will be raffled off to strip miners by Labor Day, but at least he’s got a program and he’s sticking to it.

“It’s a terribly sad commentary when people reach the pinnacle not because of their policy leadership or vision, but because of their ability to raise money,” says Jim Knox of California Common Cause.

You might be asking yourself how it is that Gray Davis, who does not look like the first guy you’d call to liven up your next toga party, could become the poster boy for charming people out of their money.

That, in fact, is the $30-million question.

“He calls 10 or 15 people a day. I just think he works very hard at it,” says Robert Stern of the Center for Governmental Studies.

Sure he does, but there’s more to it than that. Not for nothing does Davis resist any outbreak of political courage. There is gold, as it happens, in never taking a stand on anything.

“Davis is militantly moderate,” says Knox. “He puts himself in the center of all these contentious issues, which means he can raise money from both sides. To stay in the game, they’ve got to pony up. Clearly, it’s a skill he’s been honing for quite some time.”

It also makes for a handy defense when there are cries of preferential treatment for bankrollers. “Hey, wait a minute,” Davis can argue. “I’ve been running a telethon for years. I take money from everybody!”

Instead of hanging a portrait of Davis in the Capitol when he leaves office, they’ll frame a dollar bill.

While managing the energy crisis, which initially consisted of little more than trashing his predecessors, Davis maintained his $1-million-a-month efficiency.

The man is a machine.

Davis’ claim that he had to raise trainloads of money just on the chance a multimillionaire would come after him was a self-fulfilling prophecy, Knox says. “No one else can afford to run against him.”

A story about Davis gets passed from one hack to another, and maybe it’s apocryphal, but I like the idea of it.

Davis goes for a swim at a friend’s house, and the friend can’t wait to see what the governor’s stay-press “do” looks like when he comes up for air.

But Davis, it turns out, swims laps with his head out of the water.

No waves.

No muss.

Ready for the next fund-raiser.

Steve Lopez can be reached at steve.lopez@latimes.com.