All-Points Bulletin for Argumentative Attorney Armed With a File Folder

Disorder in the court! Disorder in the court! Two lawyers meeting for a deposition on Wilshire Boulevard “got into an argument that turned violent when one lawyer lunged at the other and attempted to strike him,” the L.A. Independent’s police log reported. “The assailant grabbed a file folder and fled.”

I won’t be able to sleep at night until that lawyer is apprehended.

Regis Philbin would be proud: Then there was the car spotted by police in the self-serve area of a gas station in Culver City. Two men who had been pumping gas into it tried to walk away but were nabbed, the Independent’s police log said. Three women who were inside the car also tried to leave but were stopped.

An officer “asked one of the women if she knew why the police were talking to her,” the Independent said. “‘Because the car is stolen?’ she asked.”

Bingo!

Thanks for the warning: Jeanie Eng Lee of Monterey Park passed along an ad for a house with five rooms that evidently need fixing up (see accompanying).

Speaking of confessions: Leonard Shannon of Goleta noticed an ad for a real estate agent that admitted she was inexperienced, to say the least (see accompanying).

Sounds like you might get stuck with a cold fish: Norman Snook of Temecula found an odd listing under a “Dating Services” heading (see accompanying).

The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills is the only hotel in the Southland to win both the five-star Mobil Award and the AAA Five Diamond Award (though it has yet to attain the status of Place Where the Harvey Clan Has Camped Out).

After reading the L.A. Business Journal, I have some idea of what life is like at the hotel, where a “deluxe room” runs around $350 a day.

A Peninsula official told the weekly that his hotel has 1,095 behavior standards for employees.

Employees, for example, can use the guest elevator only in an emergency (like when room service is late, I presume). And they are forbidden to pass guests if walking behind them in a hallway. (I’d like to see a bellhop try to pass my zig-zagging kids.)

The Business Journal also related some general requirements for five-star status, including the presence of “at least four magazines” in guest rooms. An attendant always “points toilet and facial tissue.”

And upon arrival and departure, a hotel guest must be addressed by his or her name “throughout the conversation” at the front desk.

Wonder how they work that with Prince?

Oh, those crazy Californians! Jennifer Moulton of Boise, Idaho, was flying into Long Beach on America West when she heard a flight attendant remind passengers that smoking is forbidden in the airport. Then the attendant added: “There is no smoking in California.”

miscelLAny: Jeff Bliss of San Luis Obispo saw this bumper sticker up his way: “SLO down--this isn’t LA.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 West 1st St., L.A., 90012 or by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.