Don’t Let the Net Drag You Down

Dame Edna, Lypsinka, Varla Jean Merman and now, Hedwig. This summer is turning into a drag, the kind with size 12 pumps.

It’s easy to get out and see the queens of this desert town, but for surfers who don’t want to leave their computer closets, there’s plenty of gender-bending on the Net, from famous drag queens’ home pages to tips for the budding cross dresser.

Dame Edna, who is at least as funny as that other Australian import, Savage Garden, has her own page at https://www.dame-edna.com. You can get the highlights of her North American tour at https://www.dameednaontour.com.

At Varla Jean Merman’s Web site (https://www.varlaonline.com), you have the opportunity to guess her weight, at your own risk, of course. And speaking of risks, Lypsinka’s page (https://www.lypsinka.com) has helpful hints and advice.

For more on the big-maned, try the Drag Queen Hall of Fame, at https://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Castro/7978/drag.htm.

The Super Bowl of drag is Wigstock (https://www.wigstock.nu), happening Sept. 2 in New York, which, by coincidence, also happens to be the only day it’s fun to ride the subway.

But you don’t have to be famous for drag. You can even be in Kentucky. Visit the Field Guide to Drag Queens of the Commonwealth of Kentucky (https://www.qx.net/marc/kydrag), where big hair is king.

We know you all are thinking if they can dress up in Kentucky, we can do better in Pomona.

The first place to start is with the right name. Hedda Lettuce (https://www.hedda.com/main.html) is taken, but you can get some ideas at Drag Queen Names (https://www.gaymart.com/6fun/dragname.html). Sorry, also taken are Carmen Denominator, Venus di Mylar and Summer Clearance.

Yet the name is the easy part. Where can you find mules in size 11 double-D? What foundation best hides a 5 o’clock shadow? Hey, if this were easy, everyone would do it.

You can find a few tips on makeup and clothes at https://members.aol.com/jasminez/dress.html. More makeup tips for the transgendered community are at https://www.transgendergirls.com/Tips/mktips.html. Even more tips are available at makeup counters of major department stores.

But it isn’t just about the face. Yvonne handles it all at https://www.yvonnesplace.net/head_toe/image.htm. And, if all else fails, there’s Drag Make-Overs by Grae Phillips (https://www.dqmakeover.com), but please don’t tell her we sent you.

Enough about the boys. Girls like drag too. Think Marlene Dietrich and “Boys Don’t Cry.”

Some vintage photos of women dressing as men can be found at https://www.sappho.com/vintage/photos/crossdressers.html. American Boyz (https://www.amboyz.org) is a support site for women who may not be completely comfortable being labeled female.

And those of you not completely comfortable with this topic might want to remember that today men are bleaching their hair, often own more cosmetics than their mothers and are wearing clogs. And really, after clogs, are heels that scary?

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Robert Burns is an assistant Business editor at The Times.