Everyone’s in Harmony as Season Draws Near

I went to USC Tuesday to watch practice and couldn’t have been more impressed with everyone’s hard work, drill after drill, going for more than three hours in the morning, again after lunch, and three more in the evening.

I can’t believe UCLA puts in this much time.

Amazingly, bound by an honor system of their very own, the players ding themselves by running a lap for every mistake they make. If the Dodgers tried something like this, they’d be running a marathon every day.

The attention to detail here, though, was unbelievable, the guy in charge sounding like Woody Hayes and admonishing one unit for “dogging it” and another for “being too soft.” And there was no letup.

“Remember, what you do, do with arrogance,” shouted Karl Swearingen, assistant director. “We are The Trojan Marching Band.”

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AS FOR the USC football players, I guess, they’re OK.

Twenty-two were on a field across the way from the band Tuesday morning for a little more than an hour going through the motions in preparation for an evening scrimmage, while another 60 or so took it easy watching from the sideline.

They tell me the Trojans are really in good shape, but I’d like to see one of these full-ride pampered athletes carry a Sousaphone around for nine hours a day without a murmur of protest. Based on what I saw last year, I’d probably settle for seeing one of them carrying a 15-ounce football without dropping it.

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THINGS ARE already looking up for USC, of course, because they hired an offensive genius. It’s too bad Paul Hackett didn’t think of that last year.

You can tell how smart Norm Chow is the moment you walk onto the practice field. He has the team manager place the ball at the 40-yard line for every play--instead of the 20--which means the Trojans don’t have to go as far.

It’s too bad Hackett didn’t think of that last year.

I’ll tell you how smart Chow is: He has asked quarterback Carson Palmer to throw the football to someone other than Kareem Kelly. Unfortunately, from what I saw in Tuesday morning’s workout, he has Palmer throwing it to the defense as if the cornerbacks are his intended receivers. I was told, however, that wide receiver Grant Mattos, a junior college transfer, has also managed to jump in the way of a few Palmer passes.

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IF AN alto saxophone player was having the kind of practice Palmer was having, Art Bartner, the band’s director, would have had him marching into the night, or immediately made a chemistry major out of him.

“It can never sound sloppy, it can never sound tired, it’s got to have that stuff,” Bartner shouted at his band, and he was talking about the “Tribute to Troy,” that annoying ditty that’s played after every defensive play--and Tuesday morning any time a USC football player walked past the band.

Since there are more than 80 players at USC, and Bartner didn’t miss a one, I have no doubt the band has the stamina to hang tough deep into the fourth quarter.

As for the football players, all I can say is, “Fight On.”

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PETE CARROLL, USC’s defensive coordinator, not only asked the band to stay on campus within earshot of the team as opposed to going to camp elsewhere, but this week he joined the musicians to spell out “So-Cal.”

Bartner was not only impressed by Carroll’s enthusiasm, but said, “He’s a good speller,” although noting, “His tempo was a little fast.”

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THE EXPANSION Houston Texans will be watching Palmer this year, and if Chow’s genius allows him to roll up big numbers, they will be expecting him to declare himself eligible for the draft a year early.

“I’m here for two more years,” Palmer said without hesitation. “Shoot, I need three more years after throwing 18 interceptions last year. I’m still 21 years old and a young punk who needs their mother to do their laundry. I love this university, and the chance to play for this guy [Chow]. What more could you ask for?”

If successful, he could draw a $15-million signing bonus.

“You can hold me to it,” he said. “I’m going to be here next year.”

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DODGER PITCHERS, now fearful of being ripped by Chad Kreuter and Jim Tracy, might never lose again.

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JOYCE JULIUS & Associates, which measures the effectiveness of sponsors, calculated that the cap worn by David Toms in the PGA Championship was visible for 13 minutes 38 seconds during Sunday’s CBS telecast. The firm said that’s worth $4.1 million in advertising exposure to the company displayed on Toms’ cap, which for the life of me I can’t remember.

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UCLA OPENED the doors to its remodeled hall of fame last month in the J.D. Morgan Center, and the display is first-rate, featuring special tributes to Jackie Robinson, Florence Griffith Joyner and John Wooden.

I noticed, however, that the extensive basketball display makes no mention of Kevin Malone’s unusual contributions to Bruin recruiting.

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AT THE rate Mike Scioscia’s going since getting a contract extension to manage the Angels, he’ll be 0-684 when the team must decide again whether to keep him.

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NFL REFEREES are looking for salary increases of 400% and 500%, and for me to suggest that’s out of line might be sending the wrong message to my bosses at The Times.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Matt:

“I used to hate you. But milk shot out of my nose this morning reading about Paranoid Bob . Please explain why I now look forward to your column.”

It was just a matter of getting the milk through your nose.

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T.J. Simers can be reached att.j.simers@latimes.com