Jackson Needs to Sit Back and Just Dream of Jeanie

I’m not suggesting a Laker coaching change is in order at this time, but I think it’s pretty obvious Phil Jackson needs to get back to doing what he does best, which is nothing.

We already know Jackson’s Bulls won more games than any other team in NBA history with Jackson explaining recently the key to that team’s success: “I didn’t do any coaching--I just sat back and let ‘em go.”

The Lakers were on that kind of record pace this season until Jackson began tinkering with the starting lineup, moving Derek Fisher ahead of Lindsey Hunter, a few weeks after saying Hunter’s game suffered when he had to come off the bench in Milwaukee last season.

Now it’s not unusual to hear him talk like a coach, you know stressing teamwork and the idea Kobe and Shaq should share the ball with guys who can’t shoot. But it’s generally accepted no one really listens to the guy, and eventually he sits down.

There was one point last week, however, when he stood up and moved from the bench--prompting an audible gasp from stunned fans. I thought at first he was just looking for a better view of Jeanie sitting in her usual seat opposite the Laker bench, but when he began waving his arms, it dawned on me he was trying to coach.

Now you’ve seen movies where this kind of thing happens, the big boss giving the dopey future son-in-law a huge promotion with the only stipulation being he continue to make his daughter happy, and then the nimrod starts acting like he’s in control, and everything falls apart, the boss’ daughter meeting some hard-working stiff in the mailroom and eventually running off with him.

The way things are going--if I’m Jackson--I’m in the mailroom this week looking everyone over.

The man has to understand he has a gift. His do-nothing record shows that he is already the NBA’s very best at just rolling the ball on the floor, sitting back and picking at his manicured fingers while letting players like Michael Jordan and his dynamic Laker duo dictate the final score.

You can go all the way back to 1995--an incredible span of 571 games--and as long as Jackson has had Jordan, Bryant or O’Neal on the floor, not one of his teams in that time has ever lost three games in a row.

The Lakers presently have a two-game losing streak.

And as Del Harris used to say, “nothing in the NBA ever happens bad until you lose three games in a row.” Harris was fired as Laker coach after a three-game losing streak in 1999.

I think that makes Friday night’s game against the Clippers pretty much a must-win situation for Phil.

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IF THE Laker-Clipper game comes down to coaching, the big edge goes to Alvin Gentry since he finished fifth in voting for NBA coach of the year last season. Phil didn’t get a single vote, of course, because he doesn’t do any coaching.

The Clippers whomped the Sonics, a team the Lakers were unable to handle the night before. I’m beginning to feel sorry for the Lakers.

Gentry, however, said he still thinks it’s going to be tough to beat the Lakers, “because it’s a road game,” and I will let you ponder that one for a moment.

In the past, Gentry said, he spent a lot of time trying to devise a way to stop Shaq, but he said the other night Fox’s NBA expert, Jack Haley, revealed on the air: “The key to beating the Lakers is scoring more points than them.”

“I heard that,” Gentry said, “and it was like an awakening.”

I asked Gentry, when he stopped laughing, if he’s ever seen Phil do any coaching, and he said, “I see he has eight championship rings, which is more than other coach who has ever been in this game.”

Gentry is obviously dazzled by the jewelry gifts Jordan, Bryant and O’Neal have given Phil, but he still hadn’t answered the question. “I think he’s a great coach,” he said. “He did it with the Bulls, he’s done it here, and even though you have great players, you still have to manage people.”

So how good would it be to hand this great coach his first three-game losing streak since 1995 with a win over the Lakers Friday night?

“It’d be great,” Gentry said. “It’d be our first road win of the year.”

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SPEAKING OF doing nothing, the Lakers have played 19 games, and veteran three-point shooter Mitch Richmond has made two long-range shots.

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ORLANDO GM Pat Williams conducted 1,500 interviews about Michael Jordan with Jordan’s blessing, and delivers an awesome Christmas present in “How to be like Mike,” a $12.95 paperback written in the spirit of the Chicken Soup books. He’s already spoken to John Wooden about doing a “How to be like Coach” book to take care of next Christmas.

“I thought I knew Michael before doing this, but I missed on him totally,” Williams said. “He lived the moment and just drained it. If it was the seventh day of the NBA finals and his day to do heavy weightlifting, he lifted heavy weights. Make today your masterpiece is Wooden’s thing--if you boiled it down, that’s Michael.”

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THERE WAS a report Baltimore was interested in Angels’ first baseman Mo Vaughn. Hey, I never understood Julia Roberts’ brief fascination with Lyle Lovett.

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TODAY’S LAST Word comes in an e-mail from Penny:

“I just finished your article and was highly insulted by your assumption that because we’re from Nebraska, we’re ignorant, poor, without fashion sense and ugly.”

You forgot humorless.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.