LAUGH LINES

A Different Look: “A lot of talk around Washington that Hillary Clinton has completely changed her looks. She stopped getting her hair done, she’s not wearing makeup, she’s not wearing nail polish. She’s wearing completely different clothes. I think she is pretty smart. I think she’s trying to disguise herself after [taking] all that stuff from the White House.” (Jay Leno)

‘Terminator’ Tales: “In the March issue of Premiere magazine, Arnold Schwarzenegger is portrayed as a womanizer who cheats on his wife, Maria Shriver. The article goes on to say that Schwarzenegger’s 1997 heart operation was related to his past steroid use. It wasn’t the steroids that almost stopped his heart. It was the reviews for ‘The Last Action Hero.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Checkout Time: “The Clintons are being criticized for taking silverware out of the [White House] when they left. . . . For the first time in history, we need metal detectors to check people on their way out of the White House.” (Argus Hamilton)

Lighten Up: “Mayor Richard Riordan said to save electricity, Los Angeles will be replacing the red stoplights with more energy-efficient bulbs. . . . If you want to save electricity, . . . get rid of the yellow lights. Nobody pays attention to those.” (Leno)

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