LAUGH LINES

Picture This: “A federal judge has thrown out a lawsuit filed by former ‘Baywatch’ star Jose Solano Jr. against Playgirl magazine for publishing photos of him that ‘tarnished his image.’ . . . The judge ruled that Solano’s ‘tarnished’ image was a preexisting condition from his ‘Baywatch’ days.” (Ira Lawson)

Rich Man’s World: “The Democrats are going after Bush’s tax plan. . . . Democrats are saying that under Bush’s tax plan, the rich would get richer--as opposed to the Clinton plan, where the rich just get pardoned.” (Jay Leno)

Out on a Limb: “Anthony Hopkins agreed to star in a sequel to the hit movie ‘Hannibal.’ The story is already on the drawing board. . . . At the end of the [sequel], Hannibal gets pardoned by Bill Clinton. . . . But it costs him an arm and a leg.’ (Argus Hamilton)

Calling It Quits: “Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs and Jennifer Lopez officially broke up on Valentine’s Day. . . . Now the couple has to go through the painful process of dividing the CDs, DVDs--and the AK-47s.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Oh, Grow Up: “Anna Nicole Smith says she is still not over her husband’s death. It’s probably her fault. She probably told him to act his age and he did--and he died.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.