Maybe the British Open Wasn’t His Cup of Tea

David Duval may have won the British Open, but he didn’t win any points for his dour demeanor.

Wrote Dean Juipe in the Las Vegas Sun: “Duval appears committed to a stoicism that leaves everyone cold. In place of a logo on his shirt he might as well have a sentence that says ‘Don’t bother me.’ There’s businesslike and there’s sour, and he’s sour.

“William Perry, the lovable former Chicago Bear, should turn over the rights to his nickname to Duval--because he is the real Refrigerator.”

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Trivia time: What do Kenyan running legend Kip Keino and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger have in common?

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Gone . . . and forgotten: Since Jaromir Jagr was traded by the Pittsburgh Penguins to Washington, the price of the five-time NHL scoring champion’s Penguin jersey has plummeted in Pittsburgh.

Jagr’s replica No. 68 gold, black and white jersey has been slashed from $140 to $70.

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More on Jagr: “If I was a businessman, I’d do the same thing they just did, by trading me,” Jagr told the Boston Globe. “Mario [Lemieux] and I were together last season and we didn’t win the [Stanley] Cup. We had our chances and it didn’t happen. There’s no need to keep us together. They don’t need me to bring the fans. Mario brings the fans. It was useless for me to be there.”

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Can’t win ‘em all: In 11 years of steeplechase racing, Quixall Crossett has a perfect record of 100 consecutive losses.

After the 16-year-old English-bred gelding failed to finish his last race, owner Ted Caine said, “I am a bit disappointed, but he did not get among them at the start, and I think he might have lost a bit of interest. He wasn’t enjoying himself.”

As Quixall’s losses piled up, he became an English folk hero, equipped with a fan club and Web site, which includes an astrological reading that describes him as “sensitive, receptive and particularly charming.”

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Frightening: Slugger Reggie Jackson on fellow Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan:

“He’s the only guy who put fear in me. Not because he could get me out, but because he could kill me.”

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Nothing new: New York Post TV columnist Adam Bucknam thinks he knows why NASCAR draws so little attention on New York television.

“Maybe New Yorkers find little entertainment value in watching cars move at high speeds just inches from each other’s bumpers--a spectacle that’s familiar to anyone who’s driven on the Grand Central Parkway on a Saturday night,” he wrote.

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Program no help: Cricket umpire Roy Higgins recently officiated a game between Yorkshire LPS and Amarmilan in which all 22 players were named Patel.

“It was amazing, but it did have an advantage when the teams got a bit rowdy,” Higgins said. “At one point there was a bit of banter and I said, ‘Can Patel please be quiet’--and they all shut up.”

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Bad, bad, bad: The Cincinnati Reds, 14-37 at Cinergy Field, are on a pace to threaten the worst home record in history. The St. Louis Browns were 18-59 in 1939.

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Triple crown: Baltimore Raven offensive lineman Sammy Williams collected three rings in a five-month span.

He received one when the Ravens won the Super Bowl, No. 2 when he got married in the off-season and No. 3 with Berlin in the NFL European league.

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Trivia answer: Both are freshman members of the International Olympic Committee.

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And finally: Swedish defenseman Ulf Samuelsson, one of the most penalized players in NHL history, fittingly ended his career in the penalty box.

“I was forced to slash him so people can remember what I used to do,” said Samuelsson with a grin after drawing a penalty near the end of an exhibition game in Sweden. Samuelsson retired in February after 16 seasons in the NHL.