DiSarcina Upfront About Rehab

The question is not only when Gary DiSarcina will return from two shoulder surgeries, but will the erstwhile Angel shortstop have a job when he returns?

While DiSarcina’s rehabilitation drags into a 15th month, rookie David Eckstein has solidified himself in the shortstop and leadoff spots, raising doubts in DiSarcina’s mind whether he’ll play again for the Angels.

“I’ve gone through so many emotions, I’m at the stage now where if I can’t throw, it doesn’t matter [if there’s a job to return to], and that’s where I am now,” DiSarcina, 33, said Wednesday.

“If I can’t throw, I don’t deserve a job. I’m a realistic person, and I know what’s ahead of me. If I can’t throw, I can’t play.”

DiSarcina, who underwent major rotator-cuff surgery in May 2000 and minor surgery to repair a shoulder tear this past spring, said it’s highly unlikely he’ll play again this season. He has not considered retirement, “but I’m thinking about taking a break,” he said.

“It’s been 14-15 months of rehab. You get to a point where you do all your weights, your stretching, and you just can’t take it into the throwing phase. But I still have the passion, the drive, to get out there. If I didn’t, I would have gone home.”

DiSarcina was throwing this winter but was shut down in spring training because of the second shoulder tear. He resumed light tossing last week but is far from being able to throw full strength.

DiSarcina joins injured teammate Mo Vaughn for physical therapy three days a week, and he has had lunch with a few teammates this season, but he has not set foot in Edison Field.

“It’s like someone who loves playing cards and is invited to a big poker game, and when he gets there, all the seats are taken,” DiSarcina said. “You’re an outsider. Sitting there watching games would only add to my frustration. Mentally, it’s better for me to be away right now.”

DiSarcina likes what he sees of Eckstein on television. “He does what a shortstop is supposed to do--make the routine plays and a spectacular one now and then,” he said. “He’s given the team a boost of energy. He’s been like a shot of adrenaline. He’s fun to watch.”

The memory of his last game is still fresh in DiSarcina’s mind. It was May 8, 2000, a 9-8 victory over Oakland at Edison Field. DiSarcina had a two-run double and a single, but he also made two throwing errors, trying to will his sore shoulder to work.

“Miguel Tejada hit a slow roller behind the mound, I picked it up, threw it five feet into the ground, and that was that,” DiSarcina said. “I refuse to go out again and fake it, which is what I did for 12 games last year.”

If that is DiSarcina’s final big league game, he will accept it. A spring-training lunch with Wally Joyner, who retired June 16, helped put things in perspective for DiSarcina.

“I go back to my last game and remember feeling that physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, I left it all out on the field,” DiSarcina said. “In the training room, Ned [Bergert, Angel trainer] was sobbing because I couldn’t get it done anymore.

“In talking with Wally, I told him if that was the end, I wish it could have been different. He asked me how I felt that night, and I said I was devastated. He said, ‘Maybe that’s the way you’re supposed to feel when it ends, and if you remember that, you’ll have no regrets.’ It was one of the most intelligent things I’ve ever heard.”

Since that lunch with Joyner, DiSarcina has had a different attitude toward his rehabilitation.

“There’s no urgency,” he said. “If I get back, great, if not, there won’t be a day that goes by the rest of my life where I won’t think I did the best I could with my limited ability.”

TONIGHT

ANGELS’

PAT RAPP

(2-7, 4.37 ERA)

vs.

RANGERS’

DARREN OLIVER

(6-2, 6.23 ERA)

Edison Field, 7

TV--Channel 9. Radio--KLAC (570), XPRS (1090).

Update--Pitcher Matt Wise had X-rays on his right foot, which swelled after being struck by an Alex Rodriguez grounder in the sixth inning Tuesday night, but he felt better Wednesday. Though Ismael Valdes is scheduled to return to the rotation Saturday, Manager Mike Scioscia said Wise probably will remain in the big leagues to bolster the bullpen and back up Valdes if his shoulder flares up. Rapp’s 5 2/3-inning, one-run, three-hit performance in Seattle on Saturday gave the right-hander his first victory since May 1.

Tickets--(714) 663-9000.