Ralph and Me

Ralph Nader sleeps an untroubled sleep, thanks.

The same cannot be said of those Democrats whose nightmares are overrun by 2.8 million tiny, screaming what-ifs, 2.8 million Nader votes that didn’t change the bottom line in California, didn’t make a difference in Massachusetts, but tipped Florida right into the cup for George W. Bush.

Everyone seems to remember this but Nader, who spent a morning in Santa Monica this week on a panel about Internet fraud and privacy. As the panelists took questions, a young businessman, Michael Radlovic, stood up and spoke to Nader. “I want to welcome you on behalf of all Republicans, to California. We appreciate your effort.”

Fifty pairs of eyes slid from Radlovic to Nader. Every mouth seemed to be smiling, or ready to. From Nader, not a flicker.

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Afterward, Nader was telling a radio reporter some of the same things he would soon tell me, the same things he’d say at a speech that evening in Pasadena.

As I watched him, I imagined a cartoon imp on each shoulder, whispering, the good imp and the bad imp in a seesaw battle over his soul.

Question: There are still people angry at you about that election.

Nader: “Let’s not exaggerate. People were very excited by the campaign. . . . There are a few dyed-in- the-wool Democrats who’ve been around a long time and have close relationships with members of Congress who are being pretty nasty and pretty petty in my book. . . . If Democrats don’t shape up, they’ll ship out.”

Good imp: “I miss my old friends, but I hope they see that the way they’ve been doing things isn’t working. It’s like trickle-down politics.”

Bad imp: “Slimeballs. Either you’re part of the problem or part of the solution.”

Question: President Bush has rolled back workplace safety, reproductive choice and environmental policies; do you still say there is no difference between a Republican and Democratic president?

Nader: “A lot of these [issues] are not gonna go, not gonna pass. A lot of this rhetoric is for [Republicans’] own right wing. A lot of this can be blocked by the Democrats. . . . Bush is using [a federal law known as the] Congressional Review Act [to roll back policies]. Who gave Bush that tool? It was Democrats in the Senate, and President Clinton. . . . Gale Norton’s supposed to be terrible for the environment--what are [Democrats] doing voting for a terrible nominee by President Bush?”

Good imp: “Frankly, they scare the imp-juice out of me, these people who can’t see the forest for the dollar signs. But if Americans are angry, maybe they’ll take real action.”

Bad imp: “Tweedledum and Tweedledumber.”

Question: Would you have done anything different in the campaign?

Nader: “I certainly would have started earlier. We’ve got to break the grip of the debate commission. If you can’t get on the debates you can’t reach tens of millions of American voters, period. . . . The debate commission is nothing more than a private corporation created by Democrats and Republicans and funded by business money.”

Good imp: “Voters deserve more than canned answers about issues peripheral to their real lives.”

Bad imp: “Dump Jim Lehrer--I should be asking the questions.”

Question: Think you’ll get 5% of the vote next time?

Nader: “I haven’t decided to run next time.”

Good imp: “Much depends on whether Washington listens to what 2,864,810 voters said, and millions more want to say. I just hope all the good I’ve been able to do as a consumer advocate doesn’t get undercut by the anger over this election.”

Bad imp: “You kidding? I got 2.8 million votes! Of course I’m running again!”

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The Internet panel was sponsored by a high-end dot-com retailer, which laid out a high-end buffet of smoked salmon, pancakes, fruit. It was held in the Miramar Hotel’s Wedgewood Room, after the English china firm, which struck me as funny for a bull-in-the-china-shop kind of guy like Nader.

It also struck me as funny that the event was carried on the Web by Forbes magazine, and moderated by a Forbes vice president. Forbes calls itself a “capitalist tool.” Steve Forbes campaigned for president in the company plane “The Capitalist Tool.” I can’t think of someone less likely to be a Forbes reader, much less a cover story, than Nader.

Yet here he was, in the belly of the beast he was trying to slay, or at least declaw. What was I to make of that?

Maybe that sometimes you have to take your opportunities where you find them.

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Patt Morrison’s column appears Fridays. Her e-mail address is patt.morrison@latimes.com.