Just Why Did You Watch ‘Survivor’?

With the end in sight for “Survivor: The Australian Outback,” maybe it’s time to take stock.

After 14 installments (concluding on CBS Thursday at 8 p.m., when the million-dollar winner is anointed), just what has it all meant? What have viewers learned? Why have you stayed glued to this smash-mouth bivouac?

Because you’re status seekers, according to a new study by Steven Reiss, professor of psychology at Ohio State University.

Reiss’ research found “Survivor” viewers have a greater need than other people to feel superior. They are more likely to endorse statements such as “Prestige is important to me” and “I am impressed with designer clothes.” Which, come to think of it, might be the very people snowed by big-time academic research. Are you?

There’s also been lots of beefing about “Survivor” from media cranks. They complain that the show, by pitting 16 contestants against one another in the wild for big money, rewards dog-eat-dog behavior. (As early outcast Kimmi Kappenberg learned, vegetarians are at a disadvantage.)

And what about the commercialism! There’s an official “Survivor” beer. An official charge card. An official department store. An official soda. An official running shoe. An official snack. It seems an episode of “Survivor” carries more product plugs than a race car.

But so what? All the rapacity and shilling aside, “Survivor” has much to recommend it. And since we at the Associated Press TV Desk prefer accentuating the positive, we’d like to point out some reasons why “Survivor” is a swell thing for viewers and contestants alike.

Despite potential hazards in the harsh Outback, contestants enjoyed one distinct health advantage: no Mad Cow Disease! And since the contest was taped last fall, they were also spared an encounter with TV flops like “The Michael Kramer Show” and “The Trouble With Normal.”

Plus, they got a welcome respite from Big Mouth Billy Bass.

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Meanwhile, “Survivor” has been a weekly treat for viewers--especially those with a special love for the didgeridoo.

“Survivor” boasts Jeff Probst, the popular host who can say silly things with such an earnest face he ought to run for president, and who, even more to his credit, has dimples you could park a Pontiac Aztek in.

The series has been full of useful information. For instance, viewers got a safety tip courtesy of contestant Michael Skupin, who, by negative example, reminded everyone not to inhale smoke from a campfire, then pass out and fall into the flames, flash-frying your hands.

With its extensive merchandising efforts, “Survivor” has offered viewers gift ideas for every occasion. You can give VHS tapes or DVDs of “Survivor’s” first season. A “Survivor” board game. Official “Survivor” prepared snacks (cow brains, grubs and mangrove worms). The soundtrack album, with songs including “Back Stabbers,” “Another One Bites the Dust” and “I Will Survive.” (Only one of these products is a phony.)

The Outback was no tawdry “Temptation Island” with “Chains of Love.” On the contrary, sexual abstinence has been a hallmark of “Survivor II.”

Sure, Lone Star lug Colby Donaldson and would-be actress Jerri Manthey seemed to strike sparks at first. But all that lovey-dovey talk about food (He: “Creamy peanut butter or crunchy?” She: “Crunchy!” He: “Gotta be crunchy!”) led nowhere--except to a snorkeling getaway at the Great Barrier Reef where Jerri declared, “This is basically the perfect honeymoon--without the sex.”

The next day, Colby helped vote Jerri off. No love lost either way. Chastity reigned.

Remarkable enough. But before that, “Survivor” had worked a feat of magic Penn and Teller might admire, turning beef jerky into a red herring.

This was thanks to the cunning of Jerri, who on Day 5 charged a fellow tribe member with smuggling beef jerky into the Outback and eating it on the sly.

Since the Ogakor tribe already was hungry enough to eat a Big Mouth Billy Bass had anybody thought to smuggle one in, Jerri’s theory, however trumped up, fell on vengeful ears. Despite a staunch denial by the accused, Kel Gleason was unanimously voted out at the next tribal council.

Kel was almost certainly a victim of justice gone awry. But Thursday, count on “Survivor” to redeem itself in grand style.

In the wake of last year’s chaotic Florida primary, the “Survivor” finale is sure to help restore every citizen’s faith in the electoral process. Seven votes for either of two finalists: No recount should be needed.

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You’ll know who won “Survivor” Thursday night. But just to stretch things out a bit more, CBS wants you to tune in to “The Early Show” Friday morning to see the winner get the million-dollar check (and, of course, a Pontiac Aztek). It all happens from Los Angeles, with “Survivor” executive producer Mark Burnett and host Jeff Probst doing the honors. They will also turn over a $100,000 check to the runner-up. In addition, “Early Show” anchors Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson will talk to all 16 survivors about their experiences in the Outback. “The Early Show” airs from 7 to 9 a.m.