Make Sure We Invite Him to the Big Parade(s)

Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News wasn’t impressed by Sunday’s carnival atmosphere in downtown L.A.:

“The Staples Center was converted deftly from Shaqville to Palffytown while locals who had nowhere else to go were treated to bad Caribbean music and assorted street hustles outside, including, as far as I could tell, the opportunity to be panhandled by plain-clothes cops.

“Certainly not the Kings nor the Lakers nor the merry citizens, given a rare chance to clutter downtown Los Angeles on a weekend, cared much whether the Avs were the world’s greatest hockey team or just another excuse to posture for each other.”

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More Lincicome: Before Sunday’s game, he dismissed the Kings as nothing more than a nuisance to the Avalanche: “The Kings are one of those irritants that, unintended, turn into something more serious.”

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Trivia time: What is the Kings’ record for goals scored in a playoff game?

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Warning message: Bill Lyon of the Philadelphia Inquirer, writing before the Toronto Raptors defeated the 76ers in their opening playoff game Sunday:

“Unlike the sometimes uncertain Knicks, the Raptors are a different breed of carnivore. They fizz with the effervescence of the young. They are as limber as limbo dancers. They have, to use a Yogi-ism, ‘deep depth.’

“They have no reason to be in awe of the Sixers--quite the contrary, after beating them three out of four in the regular season.”

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Gloating: Charlotte Hornet Coach Paul Silas, who was an assistant coach under Pat Riley for one season with the Knicks, on his team’s playoff sweep of Riley’s Miami Heat:

“There is no secret that there is not a whole lot of love lost between Pat and I. I think he’s a great coach and I learned a lot from him. But to take him out the way we did--he had no answers. . . . He was just frustrated and I enjoyed every minute of it.”

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Altering history: Phil Pepe, who covered the home run chase of Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle for the New York World Telegram & Sun in 1961, writes that the HBO movie, “61*”, that depicted sportswriters downgrading Maris is fiction:

“The writers openly rooting against Maris? That’s not true. Why would we root against him? It was a great story to write.”

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Oscar Madison Club: Jerry Greene in the Orlando Sentinel: “Why do the movies always portray reporters--and especially sportswriters--as unkempt, uncaring, uncouth louts who only care about getting sensationalist headlines and free food. It’s a bum rap. I’m not uncaring.”

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More Greene: “The Houston Astros will be doing one of those bobble-head doll giveaways soon. It’s a natural because Jose Lima already has that motion as he watches his pitches leave the park.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1968, Jim “Catfish” Hunter of the Oakland Athletics pitched a perfect game, defeating the Minnesota Twins, 4-0.

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Trivia answer: 12, against Calgary (12-4) on April 10, 1990.

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And finally: CNN/SI reported on its nightly sports show that quarterback Michael Vick of Virginia Tech, the Atlanta Falcons’ first-round draft choice, was timed in 4.36 seconds for 40 yards.

If so, then Vick is, perhaps, the fastest quarterback of all time.