RATING THE TV GAMES

* * * * Whoa, Nellie

* * * Order some pizza

* * Channel-surf ... or hit the beach

* Weeds need pulling

* * No. 21 Illinois (6-1) at No. 20 Purdue (5-1), ESPN, 9 a.m.: For second place in the Big Ten in a year when the Big Ten doesn’t own a spot in the Rose Bowl. Big whoop. LINE: Purdue by 21/2.

* * Southern Mississippi (4-2) at Penn State (2-4), ESPN2, 9 a.m.: Joe Paterno already has the record. No guarantee he’ll be adding to it quickly. LINE: Penn State by 2.

* * No. 5 Texas (7-1) at Baylor (2-5), Fox Sports Net, 9:30 a.m.: Longhorn quarterback Chris Simms gets a fine opportunity to pad his stats. LINE: Texas by 311/2.

* * * No. 7 Tennessee (5-1) at Notre Dame (3-4), Channel 4, 11:30 a.m.: Turn on the VCR if you have any interest in recording the Bob Davie era. LINE: Tennessee by 8.

* * Louisiana State (4-3) at Alabama (3-4), Channel 2, 12:30 p.m.: For ‘Bama fans, an increasingly unBearable season. LINE: Alabama by 41/2.

* * Oregon State (3-4) at USC (3-5), Channel 7, KMPC 1540, 12:30 p.m.: Loser of this game can only say thank goodness for Arizona schools and Cal. LINE: USC by 61/2.

* Eastern Washington (5-2) at Northern Arizona (6-2), Fox Sports Net 2, 12:30 p.m.: The Big Why: Why is Big Sky football on TV? LINE: none.

* * * No. 9 UCLA (6-1) at No. 16 Washington State (7-1): Channel 9, KXTA 1150, 3:30 p.m.: Disappointment of Stanford loss was big, but there’s plenty to play for. Lose again, and season really goes south. LINE: UCLA by 31/2.

* * Arkansas (4-3) at Mississippi (6-1), ESPN2, 4 p.m.: Check out Eli Manning and an Ole Miss team that has won five in a row. LINE: Mississippi by 6.

* * No. 2 Nebraska (9-0) at Kansas (2-5), Fox Sports Net, Cable Radio Network, 4 p.m.: Nice breather for Cornhuskers after beating Oklahoma. LINE: Nebraska by 291/2.

* * Ohio State (4-3) at Minnesota (3-4), ESPN, 4:45 p.m.: Vengeance game: Last season, Minnesota upset Ohio State at Buckeye homecoming. LINE: Ohio State by 21/2.

* * Arizona State (4-3) at No. 8 Oregon (7-1), Fox Sports Net, 7:15 p.m.: Ducks just waiting to see how other Pac-10 games shake out. They have a victory over Washington State and only loss is to Stanford. LINE: Oregon by 101/2.

* San Jose State (2-5) at Hawaii (5-2) (delayed), Fox Sports Net 2, 10 p.m.: Late night with the high-scoring Warriors. LINE: Hawaii by 121/2.