LAUGH LINES
Safe Play: “According to some officials at amusement parks, injuries are at an all-time high. [Roughly] 10,000 people have been injured in amusement park rides this past summer.... You go to the beach, you get skin cancer. Or you get attacked by a shark.... You realize the safest place for kids to play now? ... In the street--you’re better off running with a sharp stick in traffic now.” (Jay Leno)
Mother’s Nature: “According to the Guinness Book of World Records, a woman gave birth to 20 children.... She is the only mother who says, ‘Eat all your vegetables. Don’t you know there are children starving in the other room?”’ (Craig Kilborn)
A Tricky Situation: “[A recent issue] of Cosmopolitan magazine [featured] a cover story--’10 Sexy Bedroom Tricks You Can Try on Him Tonight.’ Does a woman really need a trick to get a guy into bed? Any guy ever find himself making love [and thinking], ‘Hey, wait a minute. You tricked me!”’ (Leno)
*
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.
Sign up for The Wild
We’ll help you find the best places to hike, bike and run, as well as the perfect silent spots for meditation and yoga.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.
