It Won’t Make Any Difference to His Army

Art Spander of the Oakland Tribune, commenting on Arnold Palmer shooting scores in the high 80s now:

”... Journalists winced and some begged him to retire, probably as much for their own peace of mind as for Arnie’s. But who’s he hurting? It isn’t as if he’s Muhammad Ali taking that frightful beating from Larry Holmes.

“If Arnie can accept the results, who are we to intercede? As Jim Murray so beautifully wrote, ‘In golf, the bleeding is internal.”’

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Trivia time: Who holds the NCAA Division I-A record for passing yards in a career?

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No “Air” time: Peter Vecsey of the New York Post asked Michael Jordan why he hadn’t considered playing for Phil Jackson again.

“Because the Lakers don’t need me,” Jordan said. “They’ve got Kobe, who’s proving to be one of the league’s elite players, and Shaq. I’d only get in the way.”

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No flour child: The Arizona Republic reports that Arizona State football Coach Dirk Koetter can’t get used to the fan tradition of tossing tortillas on the field.

“I do need to find out from the students what the deal with those tortillas are,” Koetter said. “Every time one of those tortillas would come down, I’d think we got called for a penalty, and I’d find myself jumping around. I’m getting a little gunshy about those tortillas.”

Coach, just put beans and cheese on them and you’ll feel better.

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Divorce expert: Fox Sports’ Terry Bradshaw had a dim view of Detroit Lion quarterbacks Ty Detmer and Charlie Batch before Monday night’s 35-0 thrashing by the St. Louis Rams.

“I recently went through my third divorce, so I don’t point fingers at nobody,” Bradshaw said. “I simply made a bad choice. I made a bad choice with the first one, the second one and the third. The same thing is happening in Detroit with Batch and Detmer.”

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Hey, let’s talk: Former New York Yankee pitcher Don Larsen, who pitched the only perfect game in World Series history on Oct. 8, 1956, recalled that his teammates didn’t want to talk about it during the game.

But it’s different now.

“I don’t mind talking about it,” Larsen said. “It’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

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Elusive two: Bill Lyon of the Philadelphia Inquirer, noting that Penn State’s Joe Paterno needs only two more victories to pass Bear Bryant and become the winningest Division I-A coach.

However, Penn State is 0-4 for the first time in its football history.

“The Nittany Lions are, mercifully, idle this Saturday. The rest of their schedule: Northwestern, Ohio State, Southern Miss, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan State, Virginia. Try to find a pair in there.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1965, the Minnesota Twins defeated the Dodgers, 5-1, in the sixth game of the World Series.

Sandy Koufax shut out the Twins, 2-0, in the seventh game as the Dodgers won the World Series.

Trivia answer: Ty Detmer of Brigham Young, 15,031, 1988-91.

And finally: Norm Chad, writing for America Online, has his own list of the top 10 sporting achievements since 1950. His choice for No. 7 is a curious one: “Lyle Lovett induces Julia Roberts to marry him, June 27, 1993. Technically, this isn’t a sporting achievement, but it’s still pretty darn impressive.”