LAUGH LINES

Drink to This: “A new study has found that beer may be good for your heart. You know what that means? If Jenna Bush would just give her beer to Dick Cheney, we could take care of two problems at the same time.” (Jay Leno)

Mum’s the Word: “In medical news, an Israeli woman is now no longer able to talk after she sprayed pesticide in her mouth when a roach landed on her tongue. On the up side, she obviously didn’t have anything intelligent to say anyway.” (Craig Kilborn)

One for the Books: “Clinton’s recent $10-million book deal broke the all-time record for a book deal that was held by Pope John Paul II .... Pope John Paul II got the most, now Bill Clinton is getting more money for his book than the Pope! Well, it’s nice to see the good guys win one for a change.... He’s getting a million dollars for every commandment he broke!” (Leno)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.