Sharing and Finding Support for Those ‘Baby Blues’

This has been a summer of tragic news involving mothers, children and depression. In June, a mother in Texas admitted to drowning her five young children; and in July, a distraught Orange County woman pleaded guilty to attempting to drown her 4-month-old twins. While those headline-grabbing incidents represent extreme examples, experts estimate that about 80% of new mothers feel some temporary “baby blues” after giving birth. And an estimated 10% to 20% of mothers experience serious despair that can take a year or more to lift. Fortunately, there are Web sites that can at least relieve the feeling of isolation:

Postpartum Support International, or PSI, is a postpartum depression advocacy and resource center based in Santa Barbara that speaks directly to new mothers. One of the best features of the site, https://www.chss.iup.edu/postpartum , is a self-assessment that covers the range of common symptoms of postpartum depression. Some are sensations most mothers have: feeling lonely, irritable or trapped. Others are more ominous: fantasies of harming yourself, or the baby; suicidal thoughts; preoccupation with death and dying. While not a precise diagnostic instrument, the test can at least help separate serious problems from the more garden-variety trauma of new parenthood. PSI emphasizes the value of social support for new moms who are feeling down. And it gives visitors several ways to find that support--a pen pal program, PSI-sponsored group sessions, chat rooms and message boards. The only disappointment here is the lead essay on postpartum depression itself, a rambling treatise laden with jargon and medical references.

Pacific Post Partum Support Society is another nonprofit society, based in British Columbia, whose site, https:// www.postpartum.org , provides information in a more digestible form. Its quick essays, such as “Is this You?” and “Are You Taking Care of Yourself?” should provide soothing reading to new parents. There are also sample questions: Do you ever eat without a child on your lap? Do you nap when your children nap? The answer to these questions is surely “no” for many time-constrained moms and dads--but the quiz will remind you that you’re going crazy for a reason. Pacific Post Partum also features testimonials from experienced moms who’ve been there, and whose stories are more than gee-whiz endorsements of some method: “I hated asking for help ... dealing with personalities and explanations of schedules and chores,” one woman writes. “But it was worth the effort in the end.”

This is not the place to come for careful consideration of the causes of postpartum depression or treatments, or reviews of the latest research; this site is strictly light fare. It does, however, provide links to online support groups and newsgroups, and even a page telling dads how to help. High on the list: Pick up the slack with chores.