They’re Not Exactly Living in the Fast Layne

Bob Wojnowski of the Detroit News is pessimistic that journeyman Ty Detmer, the latest starting quarterback for the Lions, will be able to appreciably help the team.

“This is where quarterbacks go to destroy their careers, not revive them....When Detmer starts against his former team in Cleveland on Sunday, it will be a fresh start for him but an old story for the Lions, who have spent a mere 40 years scouring the land for a quarterback.”

Forty years! We presume he was referring to Bobby Layne, who led the Lions to their last two NFL championships in the 1950s.

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Trivia time: Who is the only Angel pitcher credited with a perfect game?

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Marginal improvement: After watching the first Monday night football game of the season, Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel said of an ABC sideline reporter: “Eric Dickerson was better! He still adds nothing, but he’s better at it.”

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Boo! Oregon Coach Mike Bellotti on USC, the Ducks’ opponent tonight in Eugene: “They are scary. They have tremendous team speed on defense. At some point they are going to put it all together. I just hope it doesn’t happen against us.”

Scary? Too bad the Trojans aren’t playing on Halloween.

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Live it up: Earlier this week, South Carolina Coach Lou Holtz discussed how his football team would spend what idle time they had in Starkville before the Gamecocks played Mississippi State Thursday night: “We might let them sightsee for seven, eight minutes.”

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Ego trip: Former Celtic guard Dee Brown, who retired this year, told the Boston Globe that Rick Pitino’s dictatorial ways might work in college ball, but they didn’t in the NBA.

“I knew we were in trouble,” Brown said, “when he told us that the fans were paying money to see him coach.”

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Unrewarding statistic: Only eight teams in major league history have won 100 games in a season and not finished in first place. The Oakland Athletics are on their way to becoming No. 9.

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Sign of the times: Kansas City Chief offensive tackle John Tait: “I used to get upset when I had to wait in line [at the airport] for the metal detector. Not anymore.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1911, 44-year-old Cy Young defeated Pittsburgh, 1-0, for his 511th and final major league victory.

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Looking back again: And in 1935, the lowly Boston Braves lost a then-major league-record 110th game on their way to 115 losses.

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Trivia answer: Mike Witt, against Texas on Sept. 30, 1984.

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And finally: Rock star Alice Cooper, speaking at a recent golf outing at South Hills Country Club in West Covina that raised funds for Casa Colina Hospital’s program for athletes with disabilities, told why he has become such an ardent golfer.

“I was an alcoholic,” he said. “When you are trying to beat that, your worst enemy is time. I needed something to fill my time. So, for months, I played 36 holes of golf a day, every day.

“Pretty soon, my wife started to get on me about it. She said I had gone from one addiction to another, and the golf was worse.”