Animal Planet Goes to the Dog

Animal Planet is branching out into the sitcom business with, yep, a dog.

This may be a novel programming idea for the network, but “Beware of Dog,” which premieres today at 5 p.m. with back-to-back episodes (repeating at 8 p.m.), plays like a patchwork of comedy cliches: the smart-aleck mutt with a sarcastic inner monologue, the bickering brother and sister, the New Age mom and the rigid dad.

The first show, written by creator Rob Gilmer and directed by Richard Martin, opens with the four-legged star, Jack, homeless and on the prowl for a new family in front of the local grocery. Using a move he says he borrowed from professional wrestling, Jack steps in front of the Pooles’ family car and rolls over, faking an injury.

Naturally, Jack gets more than he bargained for in the subsequent adoption. Upon meeting the family cat, he thinks, “I’m only passing through, hairball.” A traditional walk offends him: “I’m not into leashes. They’re post-domestication tools of oppression.”

That’s about as witty as his wisecracks get, although the shaggy Jack is undeniably cute.

Underneath his sassy attitude and advanced vocabulary, Jack has a soft nature he can’t quite suppress.

When the dad (Richard Waugh) forgets his wedding anniversary, Jack slyly surfs the Internet and saves the day by ordering a dress for the mom (Carolyn Dunn) and choosing rush delivery.

When the son, Mark (Gage Knox), gets sick enough of his big sister, Jessica (Alex Appel), and the rest of the household to run away, Jack reluctantly pulls a “Lassie” and goes after him, saving the boy moments before a bully can snatch his skateboard.

The rescue helps bond the family, but you may think Mark had the right idea in the first place, trying to get away.