Know News Is Not Good This Season

It is December in the NFL. Goosebump time. Chills down the spine. Snow banks in New England, tundra in Green Bay, frozen mud in Cleveland, surfers in wetsuits on the waves near San Diego.

It is the time of the season when the only way to keep warm is to keep changing one’s mind. And from the first of September to the first of December, during one of the most illogical and unpredictable NFL seasons on record, the new kindling just keeps coming.

What we thought we knew then, what we think we know now....

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NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Sept. 1: They claim they’re the reigning Super Bowl champions. Nobody’s buying it.

Oct. 1: They are underdogs in their first three games and they win them all. Finally, the bookmakers believe -- they favor the Patriots over the Chargers in Week 4. Chargers 21, Patriots 14.

Nov. 1: They are 0-4 since opening the season 3-0. Knew it all along.

Dec. 1: They are 7-5 after winning four of their last five, but they close the season against Buffalo, Tennessee, the Jets and Miami. Don’t know what to think.

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ST. LOUIS RAMS

Sept. 1: Couldn’t win an exhibition game. But everyone knows exhibition games are meaningless.

Oct. 1: Couldn’t win a game in September. Maybe the exhibition season was trying to tell us something.

Nov. 1: Couldn’t win until injuries to Kurt Warner and Jamie Martin forced Mike Martz to turn it over to Marc Bulger. You know, Bulger looked pretty decent during the exhibition season.

Dec. 1: Couldn’t beat Washington in the game they had to win. Now waiting for next exhibition season.

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OAKLAND RAIDERS

Sept. 1: Too old. Washed up. Over the hill.

Oct. 1: An unstoppable offensive force. The best team in the NFL.

Nov. 1: Too old. Washed up. Over the hill.

Dec. 1: An unstoppable offensive force. The best team in the NFL.

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SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

Sept. 1: They lost their last nine games of 2001. They just hired out-of-touch retread Marty Schottenheimer. They can’t sign top draft pick Quentin Jammer. If this is the future of professional football in Los Angeles, thanks, but no thanks.

Oct. 1: They’re on the move. They’re 4-0. Schottenheimer -- kind of reminds of Chuck Knox, circa 1973, wouldn’t you say?

Nov. 1: They’re 6-1 after back-to-back victories over Kansas City and Oakland. Drew Brees -- does that sound like an El Lay kind of quarterback or what?

Dec. 1: They’ve lost three of last four, two by 28 points or more. They might have lost all four had the 49ers cut kicker Jose Cortez sooner. Are the Colts still available?

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ATLANTA FALCONS

Sept. 1: Could finish last in the NFL’s worst division.

Oct. 1: Two losses in three games by a total of four points. Same old Falcons.

Nov. 1: That Michael Vick is something. Too bad he doesn’t have much around him.

Dec. 1: On a 6-0-1 streak. Taking on the 3-8 Vikings today. The Super Bowl? Why not?

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STEVE SPURRIER

Sept. 1: “Shane Matthews is my guy!”

Oct. 1: “Patrick Ramsey is my guy!”

Nov. 1: “Shane Matthews is my guy!”

Dec. 1: “Danny Wuerffel is my guy!”

(Special sneak preview: Jan 1: “The first quarterback we can sign or draft is my guy!”)

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EMMITT SMITH

Sept. 1: Needs 540 yards to break Walter Payton’s rushing record. In the old days, Emmitt would have that many by Oct. 1.

Oct. 1: Emmitt has 236 yards, averaging 59 a game. At this rate, he’ll barely get record by Thanksgiving.

Nov. 1: Emmitt has his record, courtesy of 109 yards against Seattle’s league-worst rushing defense. Now Troy Hambrick wants his.

Dec. 1: Emmitt coming off 144-yard performance against Washington. Cowboys coming off back-to-back victories for the first time in 2002. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

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DREW BLEDSOE

Sept. 1: What were the Bills thinking, trading a first-round draft choice for him?

Oct. 1: What were the Bears, Bengals and Redskins thinking, not wanting to trade a first-round draft choice for him?

Nov. 1: What were the Patriots thinking, trading him and keeping the wrong quarterback?

Dec. 1: What do you think about getting Bledsoe a defense some time before next September?

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TOMMY MADDOX

Sept. 1: Good to see him drawing a payback after that whole XFL thing.

Oct. 1: Good to see him starting, having seen enough of Kordell Stewart.

Nov. 1: Good to see a good guy making good with a second chance.

Dec. 1: Good to see him out of the hospital and standing upright again.

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JAY FIEDLER

Sept. 1: He’s no Dan Marino. Too bad the Dolphins couldn’t lure Troy Aikman out of retirement.

Oct. 1: He’s holding it together, but he’s only as good as his defense.

Nov. 1: He broke his thumb and backup Ray Lucas just threw four interceptions in his first replacement start. But, could be just a fluke.

Dec. 1: Ricky Williams on pace to break the Miami single-season rushing record. Lucas to make his sixth start today. Jay Fiedler, 2002 Dolphin MVP!

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T.O.

Sept. 1: This is the year T.O. makes his mark on pro football history, T.O. tells self.

Oct. 1: Getting upstaged in town by Barry Bonds, T.O. goes back to the drawing board to figure out what he can do.

Nov. 1: Brainstorm! T.O. pulls a Sharpie out of his sock and a public-relations rabbit out of the hat.

Dec. 1: T.O. today: a markered man against Seattle.

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OT

Sept. 1: A system that has served the NFL well for 28 years.

Oct. 1: Buffalo Bills love it, can’t seem to play a game without it.

Nov. 1: Oakland Raiders hate it, soon to be 0-3 in sudden death without touching the ball once after regulation.

Dec. 1: Marty Mornhinweg doesn’t know what in the world to do with it. NFL concedes: Maybe it’s time we fixed it.

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REALIGNMENT

Sept. 1: At least now the youngsters know that Atlanta, Carolina and New Orleans are in the South, not the West.

Oct. 1: The Rams caught a break when they moved Atlanta, Carolina and New Orleans out of the NFC West.

Nov. 1: Oh no! At this rate, some 8-8 division winner will make the playoffs at the expense of a 10-6 divisional runner-up! We need more wild cards!

Dec. 1: There aren’t enough good teams to fill 12 playoff spots.

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JOHN MADDEN

Sept. 1: Can he save “Monday Night Football”? If he can’t do it, nobody can.

Oct. 1: He’s no Dennis Miller. Let us all rejoice.

Nov. 1: He’s no Howard Cosell, either.

Dec. 1: He’s lost without Pat Summerall and Sunday afternoons.

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KURT WARNER

Sept. 1: Two-time NFL MVP. The Rams can’t win without him.

Oct. 1: Out for six to eight weeks because of a broken finger. How can the Rams forge on?

Nov. 1: Having watched third-stringer Bulger win his first two starts, he suddenly realizes: Rams are managing fine.

Dec. 1: Why can’t the Rams win with him?

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MOST VALUABLE PLAYER

Sept. 1: Marshall Faulk. (Before the injuries came.)

Oct. 1: Drew Bledsoe. (Before trying to keep up with the Bill defense wore him out.)

Nov. 1: Brett Favre. (Before seven interceptions in back-to-back losses to Minnesota and Tampa Bay.)

Dec. 1: Rich Gannon. (Before the Raiders start looking their age again.)