Jolly ol’ St. Nip and Tuck

December brings not only Christmas but Christmas corn. That means more of that beloved schmaltz, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Frank Capra’s 1946 movie stars Jimmy Stewart as a man who sacrifices his hopes and dreams to serve others in Bedford Falls, the “measly, crummy old town” he never leaves. It aired Saturday night on NBC, and returns Dec. 24.

I’m on the record as being dubious. As I’ve written, how could George Bailey be having a wonderful life if he doesn’t know it when he lives it? Instead, the poor, miserable shlub has to be persuaded, as he’s about to leap from a bridge in a fit of depression at Christmastime, by his leprechaun of a guardian angel, Clarence Oddbody.

What’s to celebrate?

I’m struck, though, how closely in some ways George’s story parallels “Extreme Makeover,” Wednesday’s ABC special that it says “transforms the lives and destinies” of three people by changing how they look.

In other words, it’s a wonderful nose.

You’re skeptical, naturally, believing George -- who seeks nothing for himself while doing good deeds -- has little in common with Stephanie Woodside, 24 (“wants a more slender stomach and thighs, larger breasts and the bump removed from her nose”), Stacey Hoffman, 31 (“looking for a smaller nose, a larger chin and leaner cheeks”) and Luke Seewoster, 29 (“looking to remove the excess skin from his stomach, and he wants a nose job”).

Although it’s true that liposuction is highly spiritual, I doubt “Extreme Makeover” will become a Christmas classic like Capra’s movie. And ABC’s decision to delay it, after announcing it for last month’s ratings sweeps, suggests the network is no big fan of its own show.

Yet “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Extreme Makeover” are about redemption. Both also advance darkness-before-dawn scenarios that assault your heartstrings until they’re all plucked out.

Take George, who is so down on himself that he would have hit the water pronto if not for intervention from the heavens. He hates his ordinariness and wants to transcend who he thinks he is.

So do Stephanie, Stacey and Luke, it appears. It’s clear, at least, they are repelled by their looks and regard themselves as odd bodies. As do the multitudes who asked the show for makeovers but (for reasons unexplained) did not make the cut.

“I think my lips are too small from the top,” one reject said Wednesday. “I want a body tuck, basically,” said another. “I’d like to have happy boobs instead of the kind that go down to the ground,” added another.

Boobs, happy or droopy, are not poor George’s concern when he’s about to dive through hard-falling snow into the drink so that his family can collect on his life insurance. Bad plan. Wouldn’t the insurance company be suspicious?

“I’m worth more dead than alive,” George mutters through his despair. Bummer.

“Now look, you mustn’t talk like that,” replies kindly Clarence (Henry Travers), who has just beamed down and proceeds to use his heavenly powers to show how shabby Bedford Falls and its citizens would be if not for George. That includes his wife, Mary (Donna Reed), who we learn would have been a prim, plain, timid, bespectacled “old maid” -- and a prime candidate for an ABC makeover herself -- if George had not come along to rescue her from spinsterhood.

George’s troubles are ultimately eclipsed by the crescendoing euphoria that accompanies all miracles, and the rest is history.

Just as he is set straight by Clarence, so do Stacey, Stephanie and Luke have a guardian angel in ABC, represented here by makeover mavens Dr. Garth Fisher (plastic surgery), Dr. William Dorfman (teeth), Dr. Robert Maloney (eyes), Michael Thurmond (fitness), Brenda Cooper (wardrobe) and Jose Eber (hair). The show gives you a peep at their procedures.

“I’m never going to look the same again,” says Stephanie, whose esteem appears low.

“Nice hair, nice hair,” Eber reassures her. Well, he is her Clarence.

There’s something else shared by “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Extreme Makeover,” by the way.

Villainy.

The movie is a parable whose scoundrel is old man Potter (Lionel Barrymore), a greedy mogul whose evil scheme to gobble up Bedford Falls includes destroying George and his family’s struggling savings-and-loan company on which the town has long depended. An act of cruel thievery by Potter is what pushes George over the edge and prompts a visit from Clarence.

“Extreme Makeover” is driven by another kind of villain: a prevailing attitude, perpetuated by much of the media, that places a premium on physical beauty and facile solutions.

We’ve become a quick-fix society, from term limits on elected officeholders to beauty and health. Arriving via e-mail the other day, for example, was an ad promising reduced body fat, increased sexual performance, wrinkle and cellulite removal, lower blood pressure, improved sleep, improved vision and memory, restored hair color and growth, a strengthened immune system, increased energy and cardiac output and a rewinding of the body’s biological clock.

All from a single product.

In a sense, “Extreme Makeover” offers its own one-stop panacea. Although their looks are flawed, Stephanie, Stacey and Luke are hardly Quasimodos when they arrive in L.A. for the redos they hope will change their lives. And we hear that Tracy’s “heartfelt desire to attract the man of her dreams” earned her this opportunity to acquire great looks.

“I’m looking forward to the new me,” she says, as if elective surgery and all the rest will guarantee a life as flawless as her new face.

Yet the quest to become a perfect “10” may not coincide with mental health, and the kind of plastic surgery performed here may not repair a severely deflated ego, leading to frustration and disappointment.

Well, it’s just another cockamamie TV show passing itself off as “reality.” I feel the same about “Extreme Makeover” as I do about George Bailey’s story. By the time the hour ends, I’m the one ready to jump from a bridge.

On the other hand, it’s a wonderful lipo.

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Howard Rosenberg’s column appears Mondays and Fridays. He can be contacted at howard.rosenberg@latimes.

com.

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To See Them

“Extreme Makeovers” will be 9-10 p.m. Wednesday on ABC. The network has rated it TV-PG (may be unsuitable for young children).

“It’s a Wonderful Life” will be 8-11 p.m. Dec. 24 on NBC. It will be presented with a special descriptive track for the blind, read by President Bush.