State of Disunion Speech: When Strife Makes Your Marriage a Hasband

Mention was made here of librarian Cindy Mirallegro’s laudatory crusade to persuade dictionary publishers to accept “wasband” as a word meaning ex-husband. But I thought she should go further and find a word for ex-wife. Naturally, I couldn’t think of one, so I appealed to readers.

And Howard Pratschler came to the rescue: “I always thought that the best name for an ex-husband was ‘hasband.’ And an ex-wife was ‘strife.’ ”

Moving on to the in-laws: After her divorce, wrote Susan Lindley of Claremont, she still harbored affection for her hasband’s “sibling, his sister-in-law, their children and even his parents. These people I refer to as my ‘out-laws.’ ” Lindley added that because of her love of language, she gradually “began to think of my former beloved as ‘old spouse,’ ” which, “for both sexes might become ‘old spice.’ ”

And, finally: Larry Stirling suggested another term for ex-wife or ex-hubby: “Insignificant other.”

Since we’re on the subject of pains-in-the-neck: Heidi Ziegler of Torrance found a device that evidently enables users to re-experience their misery (see accompanying).

Mystery of the day: A colleague says “no one believed me” when she explained that she was late for work because she had to stop her car while the following procession passed her near Staples Center: an LAPD battering ram, a vintage car driven by someone in a human-sized “Stuart Little” mouse costume, some Auto Club vehicles and an LAPD SWAT van.

Then, again, another colleague asked her, this being L.A., why did she assume that the vehicles were together?

I checked and found out the vehicles were on their way to deliver more than 2,000 Christmas presents to the children at L.A. Orthopaedic Hospital, a worthy reason for a traffic halt if ever there was one.

Unclear on the concept: Pat Carlson of Long Beach questioned whether a certain hobbled bathtub still deserved its title (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept (part deux): Guerin Barry of Westwood noticed that the label on the can of tomato juice served on Northwest Airlines flights said: “100% Tomato Juice with added ingredients.”

Maybe Northwest is just trying to show that it gives 110%.

Sure, security is a concern these days but ... Andy Ellis of Fullerton came upon a fishing boat that’s really loaded for bear, so to speak (see accompanying).

miscelLAny: Julie Moran of Pacific Palisades saw a church marquee that read, “The Best Christmas Present Ever.” Under that line there was a sign that read, “Parking” with an arrow to a nearby lot. Which pretty much sums up how valuable a parking place is in L.A. these days.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.