They Call the Win Mariah’s

To celebrate Mariah Carey’s latest comeback, the National Football League will stage a Super Bowl today right after she sings the national anthem. And why not celebrate? A few months ago Carey was hired by EMI, the recording company, and paid $21 million merely for signing a contract. A few days ago she was fired by the same company and was paid even more--$28 million--merely to walk away. Please, can we be fired just like her?

The reason for paying the high-strung 31-year-old singer to not sing is that her beautifully crystalline voice, which has sold more albums than anyone but Elvis and the Beatles, is no longer selling well. Last fall her movie “Glitter” fared worse than poorly at the box office, while its soundtrack attracted only 501,000 buyers, 1/286th as many listeners as last year’s Super Bowl had viewers.

But before we start feeling too smug as silent spectators at America’s Fame Game--building up bright young stars to tear them down and create another lovable underdog--let’s remember that lavishly rewarding lack of success is a hallowed American tradition. We pay farmers millions not to farm. We aid the enemies we wallop in war more than the friends who stand beside us. When executives lead their huge corporations into poor sales, hopeless disarray and even bankruptcy, they’re paid large sums to walk away. Why shouldn’t an album failure pay as handsomely as bankruptcy in, say, the energy trading business? Sure, these transients in the spotlight are as disposable as a November People magazine. They rise. They fall. Some come back, like Cher, a Super Bowl-performing alum; others don’t, like what-was-his-name Michael Belton?

So maybe there is something to this new Doing Less for More Mariah Maxim, a lucrative lesson for those of us misguided souls raised to think that only a full day’s work was worth a full day’s pay.

If down is now up and vice versa in this topsy-turvy world, maybe the underdog New England Patriots do have a chance today against the St. Louis Rams. Our advice: Take the points and Mariah’s voice.